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An old, abusive slave owner switches body with his slave who gives him a taste of his own medicine
What is the inciting incident? Why would an abusive slave owner willing switch bodys with his slave? Or does something force the body switch? What you have given us is the setting. It might be good as a tagline. A logline, however, needs to succinctly convey the story's essential elements. Check outRead more
What is the inciting incident? Why would an abusive slave owner willing switch bodys with his slave? Or does something force the body switch?
What you have given us is the setting. It might be good as a tagline. A logline, however, needs to succinctly convey the story’s essential elements. Check out the Formula and Generator tabs at the top of the page.
See lessA distraught murder survivor sent to an experimental therapy centre to overcome her longstanding terror must escape from the therapists before they exploit her deepest fears to satisfy their cannibalistic hunger.
The phrase "A distraught murder survivor" makes little sense. A person cannot survive their own murder. Does replacing the whole first half of the sentence with "A woman suffering PTSD after an attempt on her life is sent to an experimental therapy centre, but..." help?The phrase "they exploit her dRead more
The phrase “A distraught murder survivor” makes little sense. A person cannot survive their own murder. Does replacing the whole first half of the sentence with “A woman suffering PTSD after an attempt on her life is sent to an experimental therapy centre, but…” help?
The phrase “they exploit her deepest fears to satisfy their cannibalistic hunger” is hard to interpret. Are they threatening to eat her? Or are they some kind of alien life form that thrives by draining people’s emotional energy?
Finally, it is understandable that she wants to escape, but what of the other inmates? Her goal must be either to organize a mass escape or to reach the police who will then the free the others. If she escapes by herself and walks away, the audience will hate her.
See lessWhen two incompetent crews try to rob her bank at the same time, an ambitious bank manager must play one against the other to buy time and save the money.
Continuing dpg's line of thought, perhaps the manager should be more concerned with the hostages than the the money. When two incompetent crews try to rob her bank at the same time, a quick-witted bank manager must play one against the other to buy time and protect the hostages.
Continuing dpg’s line of thought, perhaps the manager should be more concerned with the hostages than the the money.
When two incompetent crews try to rob her bank at the same time, a quick-witted bank manager must play one against the other to buy time and protect the hostages.
See less