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A giant IRL (In Real Life) shooting game in an abandoned warehouse is targeted by a masked serial killer who starts to pick off the warring combatants under the cover of darkness.
IRL shooting games are neither paintball nor laser tag. The one I saw had players walking through a warehouse decorated to look like a battle zone. Players wore augmented reality visors and they shot at enemies that appeared in their visors using game controllers shaped like assault rifles. In thatRead more
IRL shooting games are neither paintball nor laser tag. The one I saw had players walking through a warehouse decorated to look like a battle zone. Players wore augmented reality visors and they shot at enemies that appeared in their visors using game controllers shaped like assault rifles. In that scenario, everyone wore headsets and was in constant communication with everyone else and the warehouse was under continual surveillance by the game controller who gave the players hints when they got stuck.? Hard to imagine how an intruder could pick the players off one by one without the others or the game controller noticing.
Maybe you should change the premise such that the game control turns rouge and has hidden death traps in amongst the props.
See lessWhen a charming con artist settles down with a sweet yet gullible woman, he must spend Christmas with her dysfunctional family – and unexpectedly experiences the concept of family for the first time.
In your last logline, it looks like you gave away the ending, something a logline should never do. Beyond that problem, where is the conflict? Since the con artist is the MC, the conflict within the dysfunctional family does not count. The logline needs to tell us what conflict involves the MC. If tRead more
In your last logline, it looks like you gave away the ending, something a logline should never do.
Beyond that problem, where is the conflict? Since the con artist is the MC, the conflict within the dysfunctional family does not count. The logline needs to tell us what conflict involves the MC. If the MC is simply observing the conflict, then he is not the MC. (In the “Great Gatsby” Carraway narrates the story, but Gatsby is the MC as he drives the major conflict.)
See lessWhen a new film contest starts a group of egocentric childhood friends set out to make a movie, despite the fact that they know nothing about film making. But when the opportunity presents itself they are wiling to do whatever it takes to achieve their dreams.
In the first sentence, I don't understand how characterizing the protagonists as egocentric plays into the movie's plot. Do egocentric people maintain long term friendships from childhood, or are their friendships shallow and short?Aside from that, the second sentence contains mostly redundant inforRead more
In the first sentence, I don’t understand how characterizing the protagonists as egocentric plays into the movie’s plot. Do egocentric people maintain long term friendships from childhood, or are their friendships shallow and short?
Aside from that, the second sentence contains mostly redundant information and does not help us imagine what happens in the story. What is the main problem the group has to overcome? Is it the lack of money? Does everyone want the staring role in the film?
Finally, for every adventure a clique undertakes, someone in the group is the driving force. In your story that person will be the main character and loglines should be written from the viewpoint of the main character. Give us goal that for this person? is worth their striving for, even if it means pushing the rest of the group to do something they would not normally do.
For example:
When a broke, 21 year old avid movie goer learns of an amateur film contest whose first prize is an evening with Ryan Gosling, she rallies her childhood clique to make a film, but first they must raise the $250 entry fee.
?
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