In a future where the wealthy live above the smog in floating cities, a group of scavengers — led by a buoyant teen — make the seemingly impossible ascent from the barren earth below in search of essential supplies for their people.

by Outfox Code · Logliner · 210 pts 84 views

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8 reviews

Outfox Code · Logliner · 210 pts

Wasn't expecting this level of feedback - thank you!

All of your comments are of use and give me a good insight into what I'm not communicating about my story within the logline.

Former member · 114,968 pts

Sounds similar to Elysium (2013), where the elite live in a luxurious satellite colony in space.?? Also the protagonist in that film had personal stakes -- it's a matter of life and death-- with a ticking clock.

What are the life-or-death stakes for the protagonist and his motley crew ? ? What do they stand to lose if they don't try to invade "heaven", just accept their lot in "hell"?? IOW:? Why MUST they invade "heaven NOW"?? What's the urgent need?

dogger · Oracle · 88,020 pts

Sounds similar to Elysium (2013), where the elite live in a luxurious satellite colony in space.?? Also the protagonist in that film had personal stakes -- it's a matter of life and death-- with a ticking clock.

What are the life-or-death stakes for the protagonist and his motley crew ? ? What do they stand to lose if they don't try to invade "heaven", just accept their lot in "hell"?? IOW:? Why MUST they invade "heaven NOW"?? What's the urgent need?

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