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4 reviews
Capitalized on his skills, gave the employer an identity, injected some intrigue for the daughter.
Leaning towards:
“A devoted bodyguard must fight to protect the daughter of a murdered CEO when inheriting his dead employer’s nefarious debts”
Hope this helps, take care.
Hey Songo,
I read your logline and liked the premise but I felt as though the word length detracted from the whole "pitch" aspect as it needs to be more direct to be considered more effective as a logline. Here's a rewritten logline for your consideration:
When a devoted bodyguard inherits his dead employer's debts he must fight for the lives of both himself and the daughter of the deceased, with whom his affairs are becoming evermore prevalent.
Merry Christmas.
Physical. Nothing supernatural.
Just to represent the forces against him.