Categories: Horror
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Loglines can serve as either a pitching tool or a structuring one.
A common mistake many writers make (my past self included) is to jump strait to script with no prior structure work. If this is your preferred method so ?be it, however I find it far more efficient to "flesh out" a concept progressively from a logline to synopsis and then step outline before taking it to script. This way if the logline doesn't work it exposes problems in the concept that need to be changed, and can save you a lot of time and energy - changing a logline is far quicker and easier than changing a script.
Some things. Terms are a bit vague, like running to keep her life. What does that mean. ?You have few words, be direct.
So so the spirit has a rage, again action, what does he do and how does that impact her? ?Here is my version, probably not your story.
"The spirit of an unborn child seeks revenge on his mother after learning of this occult driven?abortion."
Hope this helps.
At 69 words, the logline is too long to ?qualify as acceptable by industry standards and conventions. ?As the guidelines under "Training" at the top of the web page suggest, the ideal length for a logline is in the range of 25 words.
Another error in the logline is that characters are named. ?With the exception of historical dramas, characters should not be named. ? Rather they should be described. ?Specifically, they should be ?defined in terms of a defining characteristic or character flaw.
And, the logline should focus on one major character, the protagonist. And it should delineate an objective goal that character pursues as well as an antagonist who opposes the protagonist's purpose. ?As it is, it's not clear who the protagonist is in this story, the mother or the child. ?Nor is it clear what the objective goal is, nor the stakes.
Please review the guidelines under "Training" and simplify and shorten accordingly.
