Set to the hit music of pop star Kylie Minogue, this musical spectacular follows 17-year-old Kylie Power, who, upon moving to her father’s hometown of Sydney, is given one last chance to pursue her dream of becoming a synchronised swimming champion.

I disagree with the people telling you to remove the Kylie Minogue reference - it's a fantastic, simple way to imply the vibe of the film. The final product may not include many/any Kylie tunes due to rights issues, but that's not something to worry about here. The story sounds fun and kooky; my main comment would be that it's just a little detail-heavy. We don't need to know that Sydney is her father's hometown, and even beyond bigger details like this, just think about ways to cut individual words whilst getting the same message across. It needs to be a little shorter, sharper, snappier to get people interested quickly.

jamesmichael,
when the person wrote, unless you produce and direct the film the scriptwriter has zero influence on the music, tha person was wrong. If the producer and director want your input that is up to them.
If the lyrics/tune of the songs are specific to the content of the film, and should those tunes be used at that point, you will have influence on the film.

"A (place a fitting descriptive adjective here) teenage who, upon moving to her father's hometown of Sydney, is given one last chance to pursue her dream of becoming a synchronised swimming champion "or"...(place her stakes here)."

Remove that Kylie Minogue nonsense. Unless you are producing and directing yourself, you'll have zero influence on the music, soundtrack, dance numbers, stunts, etc. If you ARE producing it and directing it yourself, you can write any logline you'd like, since it doesn't matter anyhow. The meat of the logline is the last two thirds.

Include the adjective and the stakes and you'll have an effective logline.