When a TV program is set to launch an expose on a commune, a member who sought refuge in the group because his grandfather’s murder was instigated by the media, devices a plan to sabotage the TV network and protect his identity.
Categories: Drama
9 reviews
Roberto,
I strongly suggest that you un-complicate this logline by starting over and focusing on what your story could really be about. Think of a logline as an elevator pitch that was taken apart by a scalpel.
As Foxtrot25 said.
As far as I can understand the story, the protagonist's action line seems rather weak. ?Job #1 for a protagonist is to be proactive. ? But in this scenario, as far as I can tell, he's more reactive than proactive. Others drive him and the story when he should be in the driver's seat, driving the story himself.
And ?"sabotage" only amounts to him trying to talk the leadership out of letting the TV crew on the ground? ?That's weak tea for an action line.
fwiw
As Foxtrot25 said.
As far as I can understand the story, the protagonist's action line seems rather weak. ?Job #1 for a protagonist is to be proactive. ? But in this scenario, as far as I can tell, he's more reactive than proactive. Others drive him and the story when he should be in the driver's seat, driving the story himself.
And ?"sabotage" only amounts to him trying to talk the leadership out of letting the TV crew on the ground? ?That's weak tea for an action line.
fwiw