After discovering the false promises of the corporation that raised him, a teenage super-genius is recruited in the fight to destroy the company at any cost. However, the peaceful leader of his new home challenges him to find another way, before it?s too late.

Based on iterations of the concept, I’m guessing you have an big ax to grind against BBC’s – Big Bad Corporations.

So do I.? But you gotta give me reason to also want to grind an ax vicariously through actions and character arc of the protagonist.? ?Unfortunately “false promises”? is a vague inciting incident that doesn’t seem? justify his response nor engage my interest and sympathy.? Exactly what was so particularly evil about the lies he was told that motivated him to turn against this BBC?? What? specific injustice has he committed that dramatically justifies his intention to destroy the company and is likely to have an audience rooting for him to succeed?

Furthermore, this version makes him a pawn of the revolutionaries:? “he is recruited by.”? Well, he might have been.? But ultimately, it’s his decision to joint the revolution? and the logline should be framed accordingly.? The protagonist should be proactive in joining the revolution, not a reactive pawn of others.

>>> the peaceful leader of his new home challenges him

Not sure it’s necessary for the purpose of a logline.? And again, it frames him as more as a reactive agent than as a proactive agent of his own dramatic destiny.

fwiw