by drrransom7 · Penpusher · 20 pts
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Categories: Biography
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Dr. Ransom:
I think? there is the? raw material for a good script, here.? As I see it, it's? ultimately a redemption story, and redemption stories have an inherent appeal.
The challenge for you to take what seems to be the messy details of your real life and shape them into a coherent plot for a reel life.? Or to mangle metaphors and strain analogies (which I can't resist doing),? to? string up a clothesline (aka: story spine) on which to hang all the laundry.
Now that I am better acquainted with the general outline of your life, I would suggest a logline along the lines of:
The life story of? Ray Ransom who went from rags to riches to ruin to prison where against overwhelming odds he fulfilled his childhood promise to his grandmother and became a doctor.
(32 words)
It seems to me that? for the purposes of dramatizing your biography, the childhood promise constitutes the objective goal.? A goal from which you get diverted until you end up doing hard time. Then you get back on track, fulfill the promise, salvage your life in the process.
In other words, I suggest that the promise is a framing device, the poles for holding up the clothesline for the plot.? The script might? have an early scene of the promise to the grandmother.? The movie ends with its fulfillment:? you get the diploma and stethoscope (or whatever the ritual is). Mission accomplished, objective goal achieved.
In this construction, your post-prison social work, while certainly commendable, would be a coda in the form of a couple of TITLE CARDS .? ?The reason is that in drama, once a protagonist has achieved his objective goal,? the plot is finished.? Celebrate and FADE OUT:.)
It will be noted that this version violates the inviolate rule that a logline must never contain a spoiler, never divulge how the story ends.? And no one is a more merciless enforcer of that rule in this precinct than I am.
But I also believe that there can be (rare) exceptions to an inviolate rule.? And this is one of them.? Because of the story hook (which in my deck of cards is the Ace high card? that trumps all other logline elements.)
Here's how I see it:? The challenge with adapting biographies is that we already know how the story ends.? We know Abraham Lincoln will abolish slavery.? We know that George Patton will defeat the German army.? We know that Queen Elizabeth will defeat the Spanish Armada.? So the story hook lies not in the question of whether the protagonist can win -- but in the struggle of HOW he does it.
I submit that the story hook in the life of Dr. Ransom is not the destination but the zig-zag journey, including detours and dead ends,? toward fulfilling the objective goal, the promise.? HOW was he got so deflected from fulfilling his promise;?? HOW did he go from rags to riches?? And then to ruin and prison?? HOW did he get back on track and fulfill his promise?
"Improvement makes strait roads, but the crooked roads without Improvement, are roads of Genius.?? --William Blake.? I want to know the road of genius Dr. Ransom took.
I commend you for the resilience and tenacity it took to turn your life around.? My very best wishes with adapting your biography.
warmest regards
Dr. Ransom:
I think? there is the? raw material for a good script, here.? As I see it, it's? ultimately a redemption story, and redemption stories have an inherent appeal.
The challenge for you to take what seems to be the messy details of your real life and shape them into a coherent plot for a reel life.? Or to mangle metaphors and strain analogies (which I can't resist doing),? to? string up a clothesline (aka: story spine) on which to hang all the laundry.
Now that I am better acquainted with the general outline of your life, I would suggest a logline along the lines of:
The life story of? Ray Ransom who went from rags to riches to ruin to prison where against overwhelming odds he fulfilled his childhood promise to his grandmother and became a doctor.
(32 words)
It seems to me that? for the purposes of dramatizing your biography, the childhood promise constitutes the objective goal.? A goal from which you get diverted until you end up doing hard time. Then you get back on track, fulfill the promise, salvage your life in the process.
In other words, I suggest that the promise is a framing device, the poles for holding up the clothesline for the plot.? The script might? have an early scene of the promise to the grandmother.? The movie ends with its fulfillment:? you get the diploma and stethoscope (or whatever the ritual is). Mission accomplished, objective goal achieved.
In this construction, your post-prison social work, while certainly commendable, would be a coda in the form of a couple of TITLE CARDS .? ?The reason is that in drama, once a protagonist has achieved his objective goal,? the plot is finished.? Celebrate and FADE OUT:.)
It will be noted that this version violates the inviolate rule that a logline must never contain a spoiler, never divulge how the story ends.? And no one is a more merciless enforcer of that rule in this precinct than I am.
But I also believe that there can be (rare) exceptions to an inviolate rule.? And this is one of them.? Because of the story hook (which in my deck of cards is the Ace high card? that trumps all other logline elements.)
Here's how I see it:? The challenge with adapting biographies is that we already know how the story ends.? We know Abraham Lincoln will abolish slavery.? We know that George Patton will defeat the German army.? We know that Queen Elizabeth will defeat the Spanish Armada.? So the story hook lies not in the question of whether the protagonist can win -- but in the struggle of HOW he does it.
I submit that the story hook in the life of Dr. Ransom is not the destination but the zig-zag journey, including detours and dead ends,? toward fulfilling the objective goal, the promise.? HOW was he got so deflected from fulfilling his promise;?? HOW did he go from rags to riches?? And then to ruin and prison?? HOW did he get back on track and fulfill his promise?
"Improvement makes strait roads, but the crooked roads without Improvement, are roads of Genius.?? --William Blake.? I want to know the road of genius Dr. Ransom took.
I commend you for the resilience and tenacity it took to turn your life around.? My very best wishes with adapting your biography.
warmest regards
Were you planning on showing the history in flashbacks? Shawshank Redemption style? I see the 17 year Healing period, if you will, as much of an inner journey, mixing it with visuals from the past may use the visual medium well. If so, there are probably elegant ways to reflect it in the logline.
Very curious what the truly experienced logliners can make of this.
