Carang

Logliner · 130 points

120 points to Wordsmith

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on When she receives a suspicious email from the Logline It admin, a talented logliner must overcome life-threatening tech challenges to re-activate her account

Cute.
on When her password becomes defunct, PersephV must memorize something like “VMIynOLEs7yRMsZE7SxWuiadS766asdf” (but not quite that) in order to post her next logline.

What's the story? What will happen if she fails to? remember it? What is her goal and what the obstacle(s) the antagonist sets in her path that she must overcome?
on An alien woman comes to earth to mate with a deadbeat stoner. Only one thing stands in her way…a psychotically jealous, nut-job girlfriend.

I'm left questioning who the psychotic girlfriend belongs to. Is it one that followed the alien or the man's girlfriend that leaves one questioning why he has this girlfriend.
on After leaving prison, two aging con men go straight by opening a coffee shop but get pulled into mob-like turf war with the other cafés in a small seaside town.

Excellent. It clearly states the protagonist, their goal and the obstacles in their way. It definitely intrigues one to imagine the different scenarios, even comedic that can arise from the situation. One can wonder, that is what one wants the…
on A who woman seeks help is murdered. Driven by a sense of moral obligation Kaameleon breaks a promise and returns to prison. Beaten, starved, terrorized and humiliated. Can he survive the sadistic guard targeting him to find what happened to five missing inmates? Kaameleon’s personality is the driving force keeping his people working to insure his survival.

Thanks.
on Rosie, a successful businesswoman, finds herself floundering in the search for her one true love. When a handsome stranger comes into her life she must decide if she’s ready to settle down, or if there’s more to life than white picket fences.

It already explains the plot. No 'hook' to make me interested.
on Three friends who have their problems with society and family and friends because of their serious addiction to heroin. they must try to make their people understand, but only to loose hope by those people who dont remember.

Using the word friends twice in proximity is off-putting.