Glare Films

Initiate · 40 points

60 points to Logliner

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on Criminal investigator Darryl Blake groups with four detective trainees to gather evidence involving snuff video related crimes taken place at a university. While insisting ASPD student Matthew Efflick may be the culprit, almost little to no evidence can be found to prove it; all while he’s continuing his murderous pursuit.

Thank you for the response! After reading your suggestions I've realized that the way I wrote my logline is not how I originally envisioned it. It turns out that by introducing the detective character first, it gave people the impression…
on Criminal investigator Darryl Blake groups with four detective trainees to gather evidence involving snuff video related crimes taken place at a university. While insisting ASPD student Matthew Efflick may be the culprit, almost little to no evidence can be found to prove it; all while he’s continuing his murderous pursuit.

Thank you so much for the suggestion! I'll admit, I wasn't too focused on a main lead as I didn't know how to make them interesting without being cliche. My last logline at least had a descriptive protagonist and after…
on Longtime crook and materialist Tony Argleton is recruited by an FBI funded group to risk his life retrieving a priceless, golden mcguffin stolen by the ruthless Nickle Revolver crime family, in order to avoid any lawful punishment and change his image.

Yeah I was trying to reply to your review but didn't know I sent a review and from the looks of it I can't delete it, but thanks!
on Longtime crook and materialist Tony Argleton is recruited by an FBI funded group to risk his life retrieving a priceless, golden mcguffin stolen by the ruthless Nickle Revolver crime family, in order to avoid any lawful punishment and change his image.

Thank you so much for the review! I took your 3 suggestions and incorporated them into the logline. Sure, it's an action packed heist film, but I'll admit, it needs to have logic if people are going to take it…