Stephen
Mentor · 583 points
Activity4 badges
Daily challenge0 of 8 badges
Nothing solved yet — today's puzzle is live.
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on When a masked killer murders the son of a Mayor, Batman is called to investigate.
Not in public domain. Description sounds generic. -
Okay, I enjoy dark comedy and this one is 'out there.' I assume animated? Half the logline is dedicated to the Easter Bunny. "Beats the shit out of" (should be beats; not beat) and the movie is over? Is this…
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Proper names are usually not used in loglines (unless you are writing about a famous person). So ax the Martha and instead pick a characteristic (flaw) that the story will bring to the surface/force her to evolve. One sentence is…
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Tone of this? Horror or spoof? Smuggles on a chainsaw is so absurd it seems like a spoof (but... Snakes on a Plane was an odd mix of horror over the top that worked for audiences). But chainsaw is so…
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Not sure what a "publican" is and likely too obscure a term for a logline. A fishing contest always seemed absurd to me, but I have concerns (knowing how dull fishing is) about what we would be watching. But I…
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"Finds" = ?? Makes it sound like he's the single mom. When he meets/ romances / falls for? It just feels too generic, and the stakes are unclear.
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I'm concerned about "loafer" making him passive / inactive. He seems active based on what he does in your description.
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Normally (unless it is a biopic) you wouldn't use the name of a character, but rather something about their character flaw and occupation. "...a former hitman, still mourningn the loss of his beloved wife, is drawn back into..." John Wick.…