Stephen

Mentor · 763 points

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on When a flight from NY to LA is high jacked, a new US Marshal must take down a terrorist before he crashes an airplane into a sports arena.

"Hijacked" is the correct spelling. Post-9/11, the cockpits are sealed and pilots won't open for any reason - even if every passenger is murdered at the door. F16s were scrambled during 9/11 and D.C. now has a battery of surface-to-air…
on Two fifteen year old genetically identical girls living in different dimensiosn, realize that they can communicate and interact with each other through their dreams.

This is a setup. They can communicate... and then - STORY. What's the on-ramp to a story that suggests a compelling film narrative? I'm not seeing it.
on A mixed-race young girl (half spanish, half senegalaise) builds her own identity after being raised up by two parents with extremely different cultures.

This seems more like a situation than a story. What is the goal of the protagonist? What's the opposition? Is there a resolution possible by the end? Feels more like a sitcom as currently described.
on When a masked killer murders the son of a Mayor, Batman is called to investigate.

Not in public domain. Description sounds generic.
on I, Little Bunny Foo Foo, incorrectly branded a monster by folklore, beat the fucking shit out of the Easter Bunny, the true candy-coated dick who uses colorful plastic eggs to prey on unsuspecting children during the holiday. ★ Accepted

Okay, I enjoy dark comedy and this one is 'out there.' I assume animated? Half the logline is dedicated to the Easter Bunny. "Beats the shit out of" (should be beats; not beat) and the movie is over? Is this…
on When elderly Martha discovers a murder scene next door, she decides not to report it but instead get to the bottom of it herself. She could not have predicted the series of events that would soon unfold and turn her own world upside down.

Proper names are usually not used in loglines (unless you are writing about a famous person). So ax the Martha and instead pick a characteristic (flaw) that the story will bring to the surface/force her to evolve. One sentence is…
on When a flight attendant smuggles on a chainsaw and starts butchering passengers mid-flight, an aerophobe must bottle his panic to take down the killer and save his family on board.

Tone of this? Horror or spoof? Smuggles on a chainsaw is so absurd it seems like a spoof (but... Snakes on a Plane was an odd mix of horror over the top that worked for audiences). But chainsaw is so…
on When his liquor licence is stripped due to unpaid bills, a neurotic publican must win the local fishing competition’s cash prize, but when he realises he is competing against his abusive father, he must control his manic behaviour to out-fish him and save the pub he calls home.

Not sure what a "publican" is and likely too obscure a term for a logline. A fishing contest always seemed absurd to me, but I have concerns (knowing how dull fishing is) about what we would be watching. But I…
on A fragile but lovingly broken man, unexpectedly finds himself a single mom who reignites his spirit but her haunting past threatens their building romance.

"Finds" = ?? Makes it sound like he's the single mom. When he meets/ romances / falls for? It just feels too generic, and the stakes are unclear.
on After ICE arrests his undocumented girlfriend during a raid, a quick-witted loafer who joined only to skim money from the agency he despises must risk exposure to smuggle her from detention before she is deported.

I'm concerned about "loafer" making him passive / inactive. He seems active based on what he does in your description.