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jamesocampoPenpusher
Posted: March 22, 20172017-03-22T16:42:20+10:00 2017-03-22T16:42:20+10:00In: Comedy

A quirky musician tries everything to finally make the first move to his best friend. And it?s not what you think.

A quirky musician tries everything to finally make the first move to his best friend. And it?s not what you think.
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    3 Reviews

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    1. Richiev Singularity
      2017-03-23T05:08:16+10:00Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 5:08 am

      There was a wonderful movie “Can’t hardly wait” where the lead character spends the entire movie at a party attempting to tell the girl of his dreams he is in love with her. Every time he tries he is interrupted or something happens to stop him.

      My guess is your movie would be the gay version of that, How about this for an attempt: (Obviously yours will be different)
      —–
      “When he realizes he’s in love with his best friend, a closeted guitar player vows to tell the straight singer of his band how he feels before the tour ends, but must get past the lead singers controlling, gold digging girlfriend.”
      —–
      Hope that helped

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    2. Foxtrot25 Uberwriter
      2017-03-23T02:52:58+10:00Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 2:52 am

      As dpg says, and also try writing 3-4 main points about your story — the absolute most important issues about why you want to tell this story and why we want to experience it — and then that will give us some more to work with.

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    3. dpg Singularity
      2017-03-22T23:25:35+10:00Added an answer on March 22, 2017 at 11:25 pm

      This logline hides the game ball. It doesn’t give us enough to think about. It doesn’t even give us enough information to know for certain what the game is that is being played. ?And we shouldn’t be left to guess.

      “Make the first move to his best friend” — what does that mean? ?Is his best friend his (female?) love interest? ?Is this a romantic comedy? ?Or…?

      Check out the “Formula” ?at the top of the web page ?for guidelines on writing an industry standard logline, one that includes the basic dramatic elements movie makers are looking for.

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