Snowden Saga: Traitor or Hero
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Hi,
I think you might actually need to tell us who Snowden is. Loglines are all about telling the reader what your films about. A (guy/girl/detective) has to (insert action the take) in order to (insert desired goal).
From your logline as it stands now I can’t tell if Snowden is good, bad, your hero, your bad guy or what this film is about.
Maybe give it another try as – I have to be honest – I kind of want to know who Snowden is. Your set up works in creating intrigue but producers want more upfront. They’ll want to know who Snowden is before reading just in case he’s a drag queen who dreams of being a roller derby hero when they were hoping for an outlaw.
Good luck
Mr Snowden is a Natl Security Agency spy who leaked confidential information to the press. Im not sure whether to call him a hero or traitor?
As a rule, you shouldn’t use questions in your logline. I know some taglines use them but for a logline you should give us a glimpse of what the story’s about; an inciting incident, a character, a goal and what’s standing in the characters way. (A bit of Irony doesn’t hurt either)
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
Read the “write it” section of the logline. Okay, great, you want to write a story about Snowden. But who is your protagonist, what is their goal, who is trying to stop them from achieving that goal?