A Vegas waitress tripled in size falls for the scientist who accidentally enlarged her, sacrificing newfound showroom stardom to save him when he’s kidnapped by her abusive ex, a blackmailing mobster and a wealthy, widowed former showgirl.

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6 reviews

"Tripled in size" ... so, she's like, a giant? 5 meters tall?

How would doing ANYTHING jeopardise stardom for a person 5 meters tall? That's like, twice as tall as the biggest person ever. She can save the man she loves and then just step back into the limelight? We need some clarity.

"When her abusive ex kidnaps her new beau, a waitress recently turned into a giant must get him back."

This logline also feels like it needs a deadline - like, they're doing something to the scientist, which provides the urgency for the character to take action. Otherwise ... I don't really know what would make this story engaging, other than that the protagonist is 3 times the size of a normal human.

"When the scientist responsible for making her popular is kidnapped by her abusive ex, a vegas waitress sacrifices her newfound stardom to rescue him"

All other detail is unnecessary
Good luck Vincent J. Paterno!

To me this is the classic logline run amuck. Your giving the read way to much to think about making it impossible to see what the stories truly about. In this case, less would truly be more.

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