A woman whose mother was murdered when she was a child of twelve, is now, fifteen years later, working as a detective and still pursuing her mother’s killer, who, it turns out, is closer than she thinks.

i am just going to take the liberty: ?"when a detective receives a mysterious phone call, she dives back in the cold case of her's mother's murder."

Then shoot for a target maximum length of 30. While not the ideal, it's tolerable, permissible.

I think you have a concept for an interesting story, particularly the psychological impact off his discovery at a vulnerable age. He may be a geek, intellectually advanced for his years, but emotionally he's still only a 10-year old boy. In the gap therein lies an interesting subjective story line to complement and deepen the main story line.

Then shoot for a target maximum length of 30. While not the ideal, it's tolerable, permissible.

I think you have a concept for an interesting story, particularly the psychological impact off his discovery at a vulnerable age. He may be a geek, intellectually advanced for his years, but emotionally he's still only a 10-year old boy. In the gap therein lies an interesting subjective story line to complement and deepen the main story line.

Thanks for the feedback.
It sounds like my story is just too complicated to be laid out in 25 or so words.

>>This is the inciting incident for her to look for the murderer of the current victim,

But why wouldn't she investigate the current murder anyway even if none of the clues matched? Isn't that her job -- to solve murders?

If she's the sole homicide detective in the department, then it's her job to investigate any murder that happens -- she has no choice. And if she's one of several homicide detectives, her supervisor would assign the case -- that's SOP-- so again she would have no choice.

However, if she asks for the case to be re-assigned to her after realizing the coincidence of circumstances, then it might qualify as the inciting incident. And the coincidence would add psychological overtones as she has to revisit the traumatic memories of her mother's murder. Especially if she witnessed her mother's murder. Did she witness her mother's murder?

>>This is the inciting incident for her to look for the murderer of the current victim,

But why wouldn't she investigate the current murder anyway even if none of the clues matched? Isn't that her job -- to solve murders?

If she's the sole homicide detective in the department, then it's her job to investigate any murder that happens -- she has no choice. And if she's one of several homicide detectives, her supervisor would assign the case -- that's SOP-- so again she would have no choice.

However, if she asks for the case to be re-assigned to her after realizing the coincidence of circumstances, then it might qualify as the inciting incident. And the coincidence would add psychological overtones as she has to revisit the traumatic memories of her mother's murder. Especially if she witnessed her mother's murder. Did she witness her mother's murder?