Thanks, dpg. Actually, as per the original logline, the dramatic question is: Why is this happening?

Oh, it's a short.

Taking?the logline at face value, I conclude that the?dramatic question the rest of story will eventually answer is:??"Will the young couple lose their minds?"? Is that the?dramatic question you intend to explore in this short?? Or is the dramatic question to be explored?something else?

Oh, it's a short.

Taking?the logline at face value, I conclude that the?dramatic question the rest of story will eventually answer is:??"Will the young couple lose their minds?"? Is that the?dramatic question you intend to explore in this short?? Or is the dramatic question to be explored?something else?

Adamu95 and dpg, it's nice to be challenged to improve. So on that note, here's my attempt to elaborate/differentiate:

"A young couple are on the verge of losing their minds after they fail to convince the police that their home has been invaded by another couple who look exactly like them".

"

Thanks for your insightful comments. I think the genre differentiates it. It's Science Fiction along the lines of 'Primer' and 'Coherence' and the logline is for a short film. So, it's basically setup and climax. The climax is a 'Twilight Zone' style payoff that resolves the mystery of the doubles. So, I can only include the setup in the logline.

A story premised on the predicament of the double or doppelganger is rich in?dramatic possibilities.? Which is why there?is already a?number of films?based on that premise.? One of the most famous is Hitchcock's "Vertigo" and the one that came to mind when I read this logline was "The Double", the 2013 adaptation of Dostoevsky's novella.

And, hey, any idea??worthy of?treatment?by Fyodor Dostoevsky and Alfred Hitchock?is certainly worth another go around.? But what would distinguish this effort from theirs and all the other treatments?? What's the hook, the unique twist?

In "The Double", the hook, the running gag, ?is that the personality of the doppelganger is the polar opposite of the protagonist. Unlike the protagonist, the double has the extroverted?charisma to impress the boss, get promoted and also score with the girls.? (A similar gag Charlie Kaufman played around with his identical twins in "Adaptation")

So, given that the predicament of the dual protagonist in your concept, kbfilmworks, what is the hook, the running gag?? What becomes their goal?? What MUST they do about the situation they find themselves in?

I have no idea where you are going with the story and, of course, you don't want to give away the ending, but one possibility that came to my mind is that protagonist?couple have kids -- and the doppelganger couple are so much more appealing and better parents. Hence, the kids want to dump their real parents for the doppelganger couple.? So the stakes would be greater than just winning back their residence; they must win back the hearts and minds of their kids.? (Echoing the predicament of the protagonist in the new film "Daddy's Home", I know, but it's an enduring, perhaps archetypal, conflict.)

Anyway, as I said, it's a premise rich in dramatic possibilities.?? But I suggest the logline needs a little more specifics in order, to differentiate the story you want to tell?from?that of all the ?other double/doppelganger films already out there.

fwiw.

A story premised on the predicament of the double or doppelganger is rich in?dramatic possibilities.? Which is why there?is already a?number of films?based on that premise.? One of the most famous is Hitchcock's "Vertigo" and the one that came to mind when I read this logline was "The Double", the 2013 adaptation of Dostoevsky's novella.

And, hey, any idea??worthy of?treatment?by Fyodor Dostoevsky and Alfred Hitchock?is certainly worth another go around.? But what would distinguish this effort from theirs and all the other treatments?? What's the hook, the unique twist?

In "The Double", the hook, the running gag, ?is that the personality of the doppelganger is the polar opposite of the protagonist. Unlike the protagonist, the double has the extroverted?charisma to impress the boss, get promoted and also score with the girls.? (A similar gag Charlie Kaufman played around with his identical twins in "Adaptation")

So, given that the predicament of the dual protagonist in your concept, kbfilmworks, what is the hook, the running gag?? What becomes their goal?? What MUST they do about the situation they find themselves in?

I have no idea where you are going with the story and, of course, you don't want to give away the ending, but one possibility that came to my mind is that protagonist?couple have kids -- and the doppelganger couple are so much more appealing and better parents. Hence, the kids want to dump their real parents for the doppelganger couple.? So the stakes would be greater than just winning back their residence; they must win back the hearts and minds of their kids.? (Echoing the predicament of the protagonist in the new film "Daddy's Home", I know, but it's an enduring, perhaps archetypal, conflict.)

Anyway, as I said, it's a premise rich in dramatic possibilities.?? But I suggest the logline needs a little more specifics in order, to differentiate the story you want to tell?from?that of all the ?other double/doppelganger films already out there.

fwiw.

Thanks, Adamu95. To answer your questions: no, the doubles do not seek to harm the couple. And, yes there's another force at work but it's meant to be a mystery and to reveal it in the logline would give away the ending.

You tell us why they become intruders, but how? ?Does the couple who look exactly like them hunt them throughout the house? ?Or is there another force at work?