Along with their pet turtle, a brother and sister duo encounter some of America’s most exciting historical figures while on a journey to collect jelly beans they accidentally spilled into a time portal.

Hi,

I tend to agree with dpg. If you look at the kids of today (ages 4+) they are 100% into technology - ipdas, DS, smart phones etc. Holding their interest requires a show that's informative, action packed, modern and fast paced. Sad but true.

good luck.

I've tried to write feedback a few times, and I've come to the conclusion that you've actually included most of the elements you need for a good logline, but it's just bloated and a little confusing. I think you need to just keep trimming, clarifying, simplifying, and the premise has legs.

The only other thing I'd suggest, which could be the key to it all fitting together nicely, is that the stakes are unclear. WHY are these characters trying to collect the beans? What happens if they fail?

Okay. Consider that the Amazon gatekeepers might be more intrigued by a story that turns on smartphone or tablets rather than jelly beans.

Just saying.