Categories: Drama
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When an ambitious intern discovers he's being used by his boss to commit white collar crimes, he must...
Well, what must he do about it ?
The logline sets up a dramatic problem, but it doesn't follow through with a? clearly defined solution the protagonist will attempt . What must he? do when he realizes he's being used as an accessory?? There are a 1,001+ ways to engage in a "battle of? wits"?? Which one does he choose?? What becomes his specific action plan to accomplish a specific objective goal?
?Richiev's? idea is one way to go; it all depends what you have in mind.
When an ambitious intern discovers he's being used by his boss to commit white collar crimes, he must...
Well, what must he do about it ?
The logline sets up a dramatic problem, but it doesn't follow through with a? clearly defined solution the protagonist will attempt . What must he? do when he realizes he's being used as an accessory?? There are a 1,001+ ways to engage in a "battle of? wits"?? Which one does he choose?? What becomes his specific action plan to accomplish a specific objective goal?
?Richiev's? idea is one way to go; it all depends what you have in mind.
Good start.
Taking Richiev's logline one step further, clarify the "wits" and "turn the tables." Be specific with at least one battle or otherwise paint more of a mental picture.
Is "opportunistic"? a contradiction? Sounds like he's there waiting to exploit something and the rest of the logline says he reacts to something. Describe him once, not in two separate places. "Ambitious" is assumed working in a VC company. Describe him in a way that is the start of his arc, with a flaw or issue.
