Following the discovery of an enemy radar station’s location, a pilot’s brash behavior threatens his chance to destroy it and earn the respect he craves.

Right again!

"Based on real events near the end of the second world war in Burma, an enemy artillery station has severed aerial supply routes, forcing a narrow-minded co-pilot to deploy an unconventional weapon on the station."

mop1011:

Good! Therefore, IMHO: the logline ought to ?say so with words like "The true story of..." , "Inspired by... " or "Based upon true events...." or some such. ?Truth is stranger than fiction and also a stronger selling point for the concept. ?

Particularly for a story set in the distant past , like WW2. ?Yes ?WW2 is in the distant past now, two generations removed . ?So the only way to engage the interest of a contemporary audience in war story from that period is if it's based on events that really happened, people who actually lived.

IOW: ?I don't think a fictional WW2 ?story is marketable anymore. ?The sole exception to that economic reality is if the name on the script is Quentin Tarantino ("Inglourious Basterds") ?- he has ascended to a difference universe where the ?rules the rest of us have to play by don't apply. ? I could be wrong, but Tarantino's flick excepted, I can't recall another ?commercially successful film with a fictional story set in WW2 that has been made in the this century. ?Or any fictional WW2 film made in this century other than "Inglourious Basterds". ?Can you?

My default assumption was that your story is totally fictional. And I suspect my assumption is typical. So I think logline readers are more likely to be interested in the script if they know it's based on actual historical events.

fwiw

mop1011:

Good! Therefore, IMHO: the logline ought to ?say so with words like "The true story of..." , "Inspired by... " or "Based upon true events...." or some such. ?Truth is stranger than fiction and also a stronger selling point for the concept. ?

Particularly for a story set in the distant past , like WW2. ?Yes ?WW2 is in the distant past now, two generations removed . ?So the only way to engage the interest of a contemporary audience in war story from that period is if it's based on events that really happened, people who actually lived.

IOW: ?I don't think a fictional WW2 ?story is marketable anymore. ?The sole exception to that economic reality is if the name on the script is Quentin Tarantino ("Inglourious Basterds") ?- he has ascended to a difference universe where the ?rules the rest of us have to play by don't apply. ? I could be wrong, but Tarantino's flick excepted, I can't recall another ?commercially successful film with a fictional story set in WW2 that has been made in the this century. ?Or any fictional WW2 film made in this century other than "Inglourious Basterds". ?Can you?

My default assumption was that your story is totally fictional. And I suspect my assumption is typical. So I think logline readers are more likely to be interested in the script if they know it's based on actual historical events.

fwiw

DPG-
This story is based on my father's service as a pilot flying prototype AWACs planes in Burma during WWII, however, the protagonist is the co-pilot.
Ninety percent of the script is historically accurate.

Is this story based upon ?or "inspired by" events or a real life pilot in the Pacific theater of World War II? ?Or is it entirely fictional?

Is this story based upon ?or "inspired by" events or a real life pilot in the Pacific theater of World War II? ?Or is it entirely fictional?

This is harder than I thought it would be.
Considering the advice from each of you, I hope this iteration is better than the last:

"Near the end of the second world war in Burma, an enemy artillery station has severed aerial supply routes, forcing a narrow-minded co-pilot to devise unconventional tactics to destroy the station."

What DPG wrote.

I'll add that you're still using vague descriptions - "...unconventional tactics..." could mean any number of things. What must he specifically do?
To save his crew is a goal, but the obstacle and dramatic situation are unclear.

The good news is that ?the the latest iteration ?informs us as to the setting -- World War II, Burma.

The bad news is that it leaves us clueless as what the dramatic problem is that requires him to undertake "unconventional tactics". ?Who/what is the adversary and what is the threat the adversary poses?

An issue that has concerned me in all versions is the narrowness of the stakes. ?If you assay to portray a pilot as an heroic kind of guy, in spite of his flaws, then (particularly in a war story) he has to be fighting for something greater than himself or his crew. ?Something more important needs to hinge on his disarming the radar bunker -- or whatever the threat is on the ground. ?Like a major military campaign to push out the Japanese, liberate the country is hanging in the balance. ?If he fails, the campaign is doomed. ?Or some such.

My point is his "unconventional tactics" have?got to be in service of a greater cause than saving his rear end and enhancing his reputation among his peers. ?What are the ultimate stakes?

fwiw