In order to cut the apron strings, a 30 year-old gogo boy flees his head of mafia, brothel-owning mother to a small town living off the tourism of its celebrity cemetery. There, he struggles to make a living while helping an ex-FBI agent demoted to park ranger to find her status back by resolving the corruption that took her down in the first place.

Wow, thanks for the feedback ! In fact, the cop was demoted because of the mom somehow - not sure of the details as of now. That's why I included it in the premise.

A : I might be wrong, but to me a gogo boy is but a male stripper. Maybe I'll change the wording there. He is indeed the star of the brothel ;)

Very cool premise. The logline reads like two stories or (A story) gogo boy escapes mafia mom, (B story) gogo boy helps reinstate an ex-FBI agent.

I would focus on the inciting incident that triggers your protag to flee mafia mom, the goal is to live a life redeemed as a tombstone tour guide to the stars, BUT … you need a “mom wants her gogo back - dead or alive” element for stakes, you get the idea.

Your B story needs to revert to your main plot e.g., ex-gogo boy gets ex-agent reinstated to shut down mafia mom. Logline real estate is tiny; you can skip mentioning it.

Q: A gogo boy is a gay go-go dancer, right? Gay or not, it would be jacked if he were the star attraction in his mother’s brothel 😉.

Keep going!