When clues from his friend’s disappearance lead to a high-class restaurant, an old hobo must save him from becoming part of the menu.

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5 reviews

Neer Shelter · Singularity · 39,985 pts

The inciting event needs to be more personal and direct . I would also consider changing this to comedy or black comedy - for some reason it feels better suited for yucks than screams.

E.g:
When a homeless woman wakes up missing her husband outside of a three Michelen hat restaurants, she must? save him before he becomes a part of the menu.

Anette · Logliner · 340 pts

Perhaps give the hobo a handicap such as being mentally unstable? A little unpredictable...

Former member · Singularity · 114,965 pts

No one cares when homeless people start disappearing except a bag lady who follows clues to a popular new restaurant specializing in an exotic cuisine.

(25 words)