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When soldiers massacre his congregation during midnight mass, a priest and former bomb disposal expert abandons his collar, infiltrates the dictator's palace posing as an organ tuner, and wires the instrument to kill him mid-speech.
Maybe something like:
When soldiers massacre his congregation, a priest and former bomb disposal expert abandons his collar, infiltrates the dictator's palace to plant and detonate a bomb. (25 word instead of 32)
Rationale:
"During midnight mass" is an important detail for the script, but I suggest it is extraneous for purpose of the logline.
"...posing as an organ tuner, and wires the instrument to kill him mid-speech."
Since you've switch on the m.o. of the assassination, it suggests to me that the exact m.o is a "negotiable" detail, one you will work out as you write the script.
The non-negotiable detail is he has to infiltrate the palace and plant the bomb. In a location close enough to kill the dictator. Maybe planting it in an organ is close enough. I dunno. Again the salient point for the purpose of the logline is that he must infiltrate and plant the bomb.
Strengths Clear, difficult goal Active protagonist Filmable incident Stakes and urgency Specificity Causality and coherence Action, not decision
Needs work Concision
Here is my version, distilled to what I suggest is its essence:
After a dictator's henchmen executes his entire congregation, a priest takes revenge into his own hands by infiltrating the regime's staff in order to assassinate the dictator.
That comes to 27 words versus the 32 words in your original version. It distills the logline down to the basic recipe: inciting incident + protagonist + antagonist + objective goal.
In addition, it focuses on the USP, the unique selling point, of your logline. Which I suggest is the *man* more than the modus operandi. The protagonist is a priest who is violating his vows, intentionally breaking all the Biblical injunctions against murder and seeking revenge.
Being obsessive-compulsive about logline word length, my first impulse was to distill it further to 20 words: "After a dictator's henchmen executes his entire congregation, a priest infiltrates the regime's staff in order to assassinate the dictator."
But I decide to add 5 more words to elaborate the dramatic moral conflict .
Either version raises interesting questions:
How does he justify his actions to himself -- and to others? And how does he go about worming his way into the regime? (It can't be easy.)
I, for one, would be interested in a movie that provides credible answers and a satisfactory cathartic experience.