1. Posted: January 5, 2013In:

    Jack loves three things ? his family, pussy and profanity ? when his son drops the c-bomb at school, his wife gives him an ultimatum, sex or swearing.

    bryson

    The concept for this is good, a challenging choice to save his marriage. The topics, not shocking to me, but as stated above, involving them with children can push away your audience. I am curious...is this an open marriage or one of infidelity?

    The concept for this is good, a challenging choice to save his marriage. The topics, not shocking to me, but as stated above, involving them with children can push away your audience. I am curious…is this an open marriage or one of infidelity?

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  2. Posted: January 5, 2013In:

    A devoted wife suspecting infidelity poisons her children to hurt her husband and now she must right her wrong and conceal the truth when she later realizes her mistake.

    bryson

    I think you went the opposite direction that you wanted to go with this logline. I actually like your other submissions over this one. In this one you removed the element of believability. Not sure how to give some good feedback to help you improve on this one.

    I think you went the opposite direction that you wanted to go with this logline. I actually like your other submissions over this one. In this one you removed the element of believability. Not sure how to give some good feedback to help you improve on this one.

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  3. Posted: January 3, 2013In:

    When Earth is threatened by a cosmic war, a young woman with newly-awakened powers becomes mankind's only defense.

    bryson

    I like your logline. Only comment I would have might be describe a trait of the "young" woman. Her youth may not be relevant but moreso the struggle with the new powers. Otherwise, I like the rest of the logline.

    I like your logline. Only comment I would have might be describe a trait of the “young” woman. Her youth may not be relevant but moreso the struggle with the new powers. Otherwise, I like the rest of the logline.

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