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A young orphaned girl from a Forest tribe is magically transported to a medieval futuristic realm populated with talking Animals and Mythological creatures. She must confront her long lost father, the Vicious king in order to restore peace in the realm and bring him back home.
An ideal Logline raises only one question to the reader: will the protagonist reach his goal?All the other questions exhibit a lack of clarity, which include:1. Confronting her long lost father (whatever it means)How will that restore peace in the realm?2. Why MUST she bring him back, given that he'Read more
An ideal Logline raises only one question to the reader: will the protagonist reach his goal?
All the other questions exhibit a lack of clarity, which include:
1. Confronting her long lost father (whatever it means)
How will that restore peace in the realm?
2. Why MUST she bring him back, given that he’s a vicious king?
Shouldn’t the goal be to keep him away from the tribe?
3. How is she orphaned when she has a long lost father?
If you meant that she considered him dead, it needs to be spelled out differently
4. The “magically transported..” bit… How?
Suggest some causality of what might’ve been
An ideal Goal is a direct result of the inciting incident
which in this case should be to find a way back to her tribe
OR change the inciting incident to suit the goal you mentioned
PS. Way things are, a futuristic universe won’t have many animals, let alone talking ones..
See lessDestiny brings a lonely sketch artist and a bohemian girl together. Despite fate granting them one night, they are forever bound by a magical origami legend.
If they are forever bound by a magical origami legend, what's the conflict?
If they are forever bound by a magical origami legend, what’s the conflict?
See lessIn an anthropomorphic animal world, a Wild Macaque from a Primitive tribe tries to fit into an 18th century aristocratic society in order to rescue her father from a Wealthy Psychotic Rabbit.
What makes it a comedy? You can drop "In an anthropomorphic world.." Can be made more urgent than "tries to fit into.." for she must, if she is to save her father. It's an interesting logline. Have you thought of an inciting incident? Like after realizing her father's still alive.. Good luck with yoRead more
What makes it a comedy?
You can drop “In an anthropomorphic world..”
Can be made more urgent than “tries to fit into..” for she must, if she is to save her father.
It’s an interesting logline. Have you thought of an inciting incident? Like after realizing her father’s still alive..
Good luck with your logline.
See less