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Is this a valid log line? Or is it too vague and too long?
How relatable are investigators involved in mallicious (intended to harm) strategies?More importantly, how does it serve your logline?'possession' is vague, in that it's a vital piece to get their goal; to know what's stopping them..Avoid writing for multiple protagonist. The Goal is given, but it'sRead more
How relatable are investigators involved in mallicious (intended to harm) strategies?
More importantly, how does it serve your logline?
‘possession’ is vague, in that it’s a vital piece to get their goal; to know what’s stopping them..
Avoid writing for multiple protagonist. The Goal is given, but it’s unclear why the lead character would be invested in it, i.e., What’s the Inciting Incident?
See lessIs this a valid log line? Or is it too vague?
You switch Point of view in your logline. It begins from the recipient's point of view, then switches to the donor?s view.A logline should be told from one point of view, and that should be the lead character.Which brings us to the next important question? Who is the lead character? The recipient orRead more
You switch Point of view in your logline. It begins from the recipient’s point of view, then switches to the donor?s view.
A logline should be told from one point of view, and that should be the lead character.
Which brings us to the next important question? Who is the lead character? The recipient or the donor?
I like the premise. If you go with donor as your protagonist, then the only vague information is ‘untainted his family name’. Make sure to clarify the Goal of your Protagonist.
See lessAfter his neighbour criminal gets arrested, a jaded man takes the criminal’s young son to his home and must decide whether he will take him to an orphanage or keep taking care of him. (short film – p.s. my protagonist grew up in orphanage)
But taking him to an orphanage is not upto him, technically. Also, tell us what becomes his goal (as a result of the inciting incident) rather than his decision to do something. Plot is what happens after he's made his decision.To set it in motion he decides to take care of him... Now you need sometRead more
But taking him to an orphanage is not upto him, technically. Also, tell us what becomes his goal (as a result of the inciting incident) rather than his decision to do something. Plot is what happens after he’s made his decision.
To set it in motion he decides to take care of him… Now you need something to prevent him from providing for the young guy. This could emerge from his character flaw, take for instance he’s a broke petty thief; now he must find a way to earn enough for both and change his ways, become responsible to ensure the young orphan does not follow his steps.
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