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After his neighbour criminal gets arrested, a jaded man takes the criminal’s young son to his home and must decide whether he will take him to an orphanage or keep taking care of him. (short film – p.s. my protagonist grew up in orphanage)
But taking him to an orphanage is not upto him, technically. Also, tell us what becomes his goal (as a result of the inciting incident) rather than his decision to do something. Plot is what happens after he's made his decision.To set it in motion he decides to take care of him... Now you need sometRead more
But taking him to an orphanage is not upto him, technically. Also, tell us what becomes his goal (as a result of the inciting incident) rather than his decision to do something. Plot is what happens after he’s made his decision.
To set it in motion he decides to take care of him… Now you need something to prevent him from providing for the young guy. This could emerge from his character flaw, take for instance he’s a broke petty thief; now he must find a way to earn enough for both and change his ways, become responsible to ensure the young orphan does not follow his steps.
See lessUpside down in a binge, Hank Thomson loses a key that came with a cat that nobody wanted, putting his unborn child in danger; Bad luck for Hank since that cat?s key belongs to a trinity of badass’ that will kill the woman carrying his future. “So just remember, Hank!”
After losing the key which came with the cat...? If the key was that important the trinity of badass' shouldn't have lost the cat in the first place. Them blaming Hank (drop the name) is a childish causality. You tend to write antagonists inclined to harm the hero's family for his sins (like in yourRead more
After losing the key which came with the cat…? If the key was that important the trinity of badass’ shouldn’t have lost the cat in the first place. Them blaming Hank (drop the name) is a childish causality. You tend to write antagonists inclined to harm the hero’s family for his sins (like in your previous logline). I wonder if it’s the best way to create interesting adversaries.
See lessA single father/cat burglar needs to steal an ancient artifact in order to help his ailing son, grabs the attention of a 700-year-old warlord; now he must outwit CAIN to save the life of his kidnaped son.
What dpg said, plus If it isn't the biblical CAIN, you should drop the name. How does outwitting him looks on-screen?"After an evil guardian kidnaps his daughter for robbing his elixir, a cat burglar must rescue her before her sickness takes over"
What dpg said, plus If it isn’t the biblical CAIN, you should drop the name. How does outwitting him looks on-screen?
“After an evil guardian kidnaps his daughter for robbing his elixir, a cat burglar must rescue her before her sickness takes over”
See less