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After a chance meeting with his high school sweetheart reminds him he?s not who he aspired to be, a responsible 29-year-old risks his healthy relationship and stable career to live the life he dreamt of.
I'm guessing after his 30th, the pact expires... is that so? It's sort of implied, but do you still feel the need to incorporate this bit? Just the stakes -- you know -- they seem fluffy. He can always break a hypothetical pact he made when they were young and foolish. But the premise itself is fresRead more
I’m guessing after his 30th, the pact expires… is that so? It’s sort of implied, but do you still feel the need to incorporate this bit?
Just the stakes — you know — they seem fluffy. He can always break a hypothetical pact he made when they were young and foolish. But the premise itself is fresh and (forgive me for overusing it…) colourful. I’d like to know more 🙂
See lessGood Luck!
Sent directly to earth from the Creator, to raise up their Race of Beings who have fallen prey. Things get deadly.
It's seems to be something you narrate - crosscutting with trailer footage; not a logline. For it to be one, it must contain -- ? the specific event, which incites his coming to earth (after his ruler's prophecy renders his allies motionless...) ? his function or role (...an intergalactic traveller.Read more
It’s seems to be something you narrate – crosscutting with trailer footage; not a logline. For it to be one, it must contain —
See less? the specific event, which incites his coming to earth (after his ruler’s prophecy renders his allies motionless…)
? his function or role (…an intergalactic traveller…) &
? his goal or main action in the story [as a result of this event] (…must infiltrate earth and raise his fellow specie from the dark spell) pfft! ..you get the idea
In doing so, make the conflict and stakes implied; “What if he doesn’t?” should be threatening and urgent
Good Luck leemason!!
When the illegal distribution of Opioids claims the life of a high school athlete, a 3rd generation police officer leads an investigation and as the case breaks, the fallout hits close to home.
Your logline seemed headed towards the plot of this highschool athlete, then changed its direction, therefore mentioning him seems redundant at this stage. The Inciting Incident isn't his death. Instead, how as the case breaks, the fallout hits close to home... which is incomplete, was he or wasn'tRead more
Your logline seemed headed towards the plot of this highschool athlete, then changed its direction, therefore mentioning him seems redundant at this stage.
See lessThe Inciting Incident isn’t his death. Instead, how as the case breaks, the fallout hits close to home… which is incomplete, was he or wasn’t he able to zero in on the person responsible.
And finally what becomes his GOAL as a result of this discovery.
The format which might work, becomes – “After a third gen cop tracks the illegal opioids distribution to his home, he must…[objective goal]
PS. “fallout” is a confusing word
Good Luck ccapone19