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  1. Posted: June 26, 2018In: Romance

    When an impromptu business trip to Tokyo threatens his last chance with his dream girl, a resourceful romantic must find a way to go ahead with the date from 6000 miles away or risk losing her forever.

    variable Uberwriter
    Added an answer on June 26, 2018 at 5:18 am

    However much he struggles with technology, geography and language...it reads kind of 'uncinematic' to me. What is the worst that could happen, apart from complete ignorance on her part, in which case he's all the more better without her. I mean she must've known he's new to Tokyo and cut him some slRead more

    However much he struggles with technology, geography and language…it reads kind of ‘uncinematic’ to me. What is the worst that could happen, apart from complete ignorance on her part, in which case he’s all the more better without her. I mean she must’ve known he’s new to Tokyo and cut him some slack on their first date. Am I missing something?

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  2. Posted: June 26, 2018In: War

    Professional: The Faunus Rights Revolution is a thematically charged action and war drama, centered around a trio of young Faunus fighting to save their people from persecution, deportation, and death at the hands of Humanity. Commercial: In the world of Remnant, the Faunus face oppression and deportation at the hands of humans. Three young heroes join the resistance to defend their people.

    variable Uberwriter
    Added an answer on June 26, 2018 at 5:10 am

    So it's about a non human specie leading a revolution against the human oppression. Trick with such films lie in the ability to make your audience empathise more for the in-human You've posted your film description and tagline, but the Logline is absent. The three mandatory components (we believe) nRead more

    So it’s about a non human specie leading a revolution against the human oppression. Trick with such films lie in the ability to make your audience empathise more for the in-human

    You’ve posted your film description and tagline, but the Logline is absent. The three mandatory components (we believe) necessary for a great logline are:
    ? the story?s first major event or ?Inciting Incident?
    ? the hero?s function or role in the story
    ? the hero?s goal or main action in the story
    After which your logline must raise this one question only — “will the hero achieve his goal?”
    While your logline raises many, including — Which of the three is your protagonist? What incites them to join the resistance? & As a result, what becomes his/her objective goal?
    Loglines with a fiction premise such as this, benefit from establishing the setting prior to the event-role-goal, such as — “Under human subjugation, when the mythical specie of Faunus are faced with jarring immorality, a young faun with his two close friends must ____[reach this goal/do this action]…

    Although optional, It benefits greatly from an inciting incident which implies 1) the hero?s weakness/flaw (e.g. headstrong, timid, solitary, cocky, depressed), 2) an obstacle(s) and/or the Antagonist & 3) the stakes

    You might wanna research Avatar (2009) by James Cameron, thoroughly. Good Luck DavidPassmoreAIE!!

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  3. Posted: June 26, 2018In: Comedy

    When a top assassin falls for her latest target, she must switch from killer to bodyguard to stay alive long enough to turn the tables.

    variable Uberwriter
    Added an answer on June 26, 2018 at 4:34 am

    This reminded me of an awesome version by Knightrider -- "When an assassin whose mind is reformatted after every 72 hours falls for his latest target, he must take down those targeting her before his mind resets again" So I guess she'd turn the tables on 'her employers', still keen on his assassinatRead more

    This reminded me of an awesome version by Knightrider — “When an assassin whose mind is reformatted after every 72 hours falls for his latest target, he must take down those targeting her before his mind resets again”
    So I guess she’d turn the tables on ‘her employers’, still keen on his assassination. But that’s something you gotta spell out in your logline (just like Knightrider did with an objective-visual-goal and a ticking clock!)

    Secondly, I’m unable to see how it’s posted under comedy.

    Good Luck leejlawson

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