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After a young girl finds a strange red cloak that influences and changes her behavior, her twin brother must rescue her from a strange forest before she completely forgets who she is.
Who's your protagonist? The kids brother, right? Why not rewrite it from his POV? How would it resolve? Him taking out off of her? Great stakes though. Good Luck OrangeHand :) PS. Where does the "strange forest" fits in?
Who’s your protagonist? The kids brother, right?
See lessWhy not rewrite it from his POV? How would it resolve? Him taking out off of her? Great stakes though.
Good Luck OrangeHand 🙂
PS. Where does the “strange forest” fits in?
When her father is captured by the greedy owner of an underground casino, an unorthodox cat burglar must convince her professional poker player sister to join forces to take down the bad guy and rescue their father. — All IN
While the very cinematic action (robbery) in casino bank, our humble protagonist will be busy playing...cards. You might wanna write it from POV of the guy leading the robbery How about father was wrongly incriminated and his twin daughters lead the escape (We need more female protagonists) Good LucRead more
While the very cinematic action (robbery) in casino bank, our humble protagonist will be busy playing…cards. You might wanna write it from POV of the guy leading the robbery
How about father was wrongly incriminated and his twin daughters lead the escape (We need more female protagonists)
Good Luck Rutger Oosterhoff
See lessThe Project
This whole version seems to be your inciting incident. Loglines are about what your protagonist does in response to this specific event. Secondly, it would greatly benefit from one specific protagonist which could be their "class representative" or coach... Finally, what becomes his Objective Goal aRead more
This whole version seems to be your inciting incident. Loglines are about what your protagonist does in response to this specific event.
Secondly, it would greatly benefit from one specific protagonist which could be their “class representative” or coach…
Finally, what becomes his Objective Goal as a result of this trap?
For the Inciting Event “On their field trip to Africa, when an ambitious group of students encounter a powerful witch-doctor (who creates division and lures them into a trap)…” [the protagonist] must [do this main action/reach this goal]
Your Inciting incident still seems pretty disconnected from the conflict which ensues as a result. What’s the underlying logic that drives your logline? i.e., Why is the witch doctor intent on trapping them? How does it all unify into one specific line of action? What are the stakes?
Good Luck Mamba81!!
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