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before proposing to her, an uber driver has a chance to pick up his girlfriend’s father who is a judge and a young terrorist wants to kill him.
The meat is in the chase and it will help to trim the 'before proposing to her' part (maybe say the father of his love interest..). On another note, how will killing the judge help the young terrorist? How is it funny unless the father hates our hero's guts? (just a suggestion) hope this helps :)
The meat is in the chase and it will help to trim the ‘before proposing to her’ part (maybe say the father of his love interest..). On another note, how will killing the judge help the young terrorist?
How is it funny unless the father hates our hero’s guts? (just a suggestion)
hope this helps 🙂
See lessWhen his medication suddenly stops working, a contentedly married man must endure terrifying Hypnotic Regressions in search of an answer to his mysterious and debilitating condition. (26)
You've posted it under 'Horror' but the way you have pitched It, doesn't seem like a very active-action. At the most I hope him to get better soon but I'm not with him on this journey. It would be helpful if you elaborated on both the 'hypnotic regressions' & his 'mysterious and debilitating conRead more
You’ve posted it under ‘Horror’ but the way you have pitched It, doesn’t seem like a very active-action. At the most I hope him to get better soon but I’m not with him on this journey.
It would be helpful if you elaborated on both the ‘hypnotic regressions’ & his ‘mysterious and debilitating condition’
What does his condition make him do? And as a result of this ‘regression’ what becomes his objective goal? Try making it more visual.
hope this helps 🙂
See lessTo validate her self-worth, a cunning catfisher help victims reclaim their digital lives by revealing the truth and exposing the perpetrators.
The premise is interesting but it makes me wonder 'Why now?' Why does her self worth bothers her now when she's been one of them? What does she gain by exposing the perpetrators? Instead of 'victims' maybe there's someone in particular she intends to save; a personal incentive would be better than vRead more
The premise is interesting but it makes me wonder ‘Why now?’ Why does her self worth bothers her now when she’s been one of them? What does she gain by exposing the perpetrators?
Instead of ‘victims’ maybe there’s someone in particular she intends to save; a personal incentive would be better than validating her self worth as the inciting incident.
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