When it comes to objectively stating her dramatic need (what she thinks she needs, before she knows any better) this version is competently worded. Only it lacks the necessary hook, but maybe such is the nature of this film.

I find it hard to point towards a particular event that leads her to want to go to an East Coast College. The first major event in her life is meeting Danny; this effectively begins to disrupt her status quo. Having said that, it’s only in the beginning of Act 1 that her father loses his job, which does help escalate the conflict between her and her mother (which to me is the key plotline). This is also where Greta setups Ladybird’s objective goal. So when you say “..to earn a place at an East Coast college and gain some independence from her overbearing mother”, it would be cool if we can find an inciting incident to make her want to seek her freedom.

First half of Act 2 concerns with ‘her fighting who she is’; getting in disagreement with her mother, losing virginity, making a new set of friends.. Second half is when she decides where her loyalties lie. Her resolution can be justified in her solution to her identity crisis (which serves as her journey as a protagonist). From the third act (& even the denouement), it is safe to conclude that it’s strictly a “mother-daughter” movie. Hence, I’m glad to find her mother in the logline. Good job!