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  1. Posted: April 20, 2018In: SciFi

    Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.

    variable Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 21, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    your logline got a whole lot better, but it still doesn't answer WHY must SHE correct the timeline when it is a crazy long-shot Are you sure about "otherwise their world will blow up"? Yes events are mere medium to make characters react and it is an interesting plot to reveal the inside of a disagreRead more

    your logline got a whole lot better, but it still doesn’t answer WHY must SHE correct the timeline when it is a crazy long-shot

    Are you sure about “otherwise their world will blow up”?

    Yes events are mere medium to make characters react and it is an interesting plot to reveal the inside of a disagreeing couple

    I am convinced you can come up with better relation of “…their terminated project…” & “…her attempt at correcting the timeline…” (an even better causality that is)

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  2. Posted: April 20, 2018In: Fantasy

    When planetary gods disagree on each other’s decisions of “universal laws”, An Earth God engages in a divine war against the biased laws for his claim in the new world

    Best Answer
    variable Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 20, 2018 at 7:39 pm

    "a divine war" sets up the premise but still a let-go-able information. Give us the specifics on "an earth god", "biased laws" and "his claim" so we know the stakes and relate The Inciting Incident in description "after an interplanetary meeting goes haywire" works better Also would benefit from a bRead more

    “a divine war” sets up the premise but still a let-go-able information. Give us the specifics on “an earth god”, “biased laws” and “his claim” so we know the stakes and relate

    The Inciting Incident in description “after an interplanetary meeting goes haywire” works better

    Also would benefit from a better goal (than to fight for his claim in the new world)(although it sounds pretty cool)

    After the interplanetary council enforces a law against having human relations, a demigod rebels for his true love…..ha ha!
    “god”speed wind (pun intended)

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  3. Posted: April 20, 2018In: SciFi

    Revised2: Upon learning their time-line has been sabotaged, an insecure, scatterbrained time-travel expert must win the faith of her cranky husband and her team, in time to save her wrongfully terminated project and their marriage.

    variable Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 20, 2018 at 12:48 am

    This Sci-fi plot carries a big heart for internal conflict; really like where it's headed.. Some stuff -- 1. How is this "stranded time traveller" related to the protagonist (her brother or something?) 2. Why "must" she recruit her husband given they don't have good chemistry anyway... 3. Does yourRead more

    This Sci-fi plot carries a big heart for internal conflict; really like where it’s headed..

    Some stuff —
    1. How is this “stranded time traveller” related to the protagonist (her brother or something?)
    2. Why “must” she recruit her husband given they don’t have good chemistry anyway…
    3. Does your logline need “…due kill them all or save the project and their marriage”

    It’d be relatable as hell if you reap its comic potential. Good luck Jessie

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