1. Posted: April 19, 2018In:

    A sheriff is visited by Federal agents who are hunting an alien that has crashed in the hills ? an alien that can shape shift into any form. One by one people disappear and he must find and kill the creature to save his town.

    variable Uberwriter

    Richiev captured your idea beautifullybut it's one sided fundamentally, and reads like: "a local sheriff must team up with federal agents to kill a shapeshifting alien...."the motive of this alien is unknown In your original version people are disappearing one by one, not killed. "what the antagonisRead more

    Richiev captured your idea beautifully

    but it’s one sided fundamentally, and reads like:
    “a local sheriff must team up with federal agents to kill a shapeshifting alien….”

    the motive of this alien is unknown
    In your original version people are disappearing one by one, not killed. “what the antagonist wants” is needed to establish the stakes.
    Also it needs to be personal for the protagonist, something like “…when his beloved nephew goes missing…”

    Its execution hangs entirely on your screenwriting ability

    good luck music1358

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  2. Posted: April 19, 2018In:

    When a group of people commits suicide after watching his psychological movies, an alcoholic director who can predict his possible futures must escape from a secret government who wants to kill him, thinking that he is a threat to our society.

    variable Uberwriter

    A logline must raise this one question only... "will our hero be able to achieve his goal?" Some questions that pop -- 1. If he has precognition, why is he in this mess? 2. How does his ability to "predict possible futures" fit in this larger scheme of escaping the secret government? 3. Why "secret"Read more

    A logline must raise this one question only…
    “will our hero be able to achieve his goal?”

    Some questions that pop —

    1. If he has precognition, why is he in this mess?

    2. How does his ability to “predict possible futures” fit in this larger scheme of escaping the secret government?

    3. Why “secret” government?

    4. Can’t they stop sales and distribution of the film? They are the government after all..

    5. Why are people still watching them? The suicides are all over the news right?
    _________________________________________

    If you are still interested…

    After his thriller triggers a suicide cult, a filmmaker must……..wait!

    He should have a better goal than escaping
    Maybe investigate why this is happening…

    good luck ashes123

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  3. Posted: April 17, 2018In:

    Three days before Armageddon,a drug addicted lawyer must survive an army of demons who wish to drag everyone to hell .

    variable Uberwriter

    Why should the protagonist (the lawyer) care? Why him? Also, are you talking about the biblical Armageddon? Is there a reason why the demons wish to drag everyone to hell? (not just those who deserve it) His Goal (survival) seems selfish and FPS game-like

    Why should the protagonist (the lawyer) care? Why him?

    Also, are you talking about the biblical Armageddon?
    Is there a reason why the demons wish to drag everyone to hell? (not just those who deserve it)

    His Goal (survival) seems selfish and FPS game-like

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