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A vengeful young woman with a grudge about being conceived by anonymous sperm donation tracks down her biological father, who is now a successful gynaecologist, and plots with her scheming mother to take the place of his wife and daughter.
The way i see it, the gynaecologist is your protagonist "After her vengeful daughter tracks him from the sperm bank, a successful man must save his family from his newfound kin and her scheming mother" How they can achieve it remains a mystery to me. Because--let's face it--what is the worst that caRead more
The way i see it, the gynaecologist is your protagonist
“After her vengeful daughter tracks him from the sperm bank, a successful man must save his family from his newfound kin and her scheming mother”
How they can achieve it remains a mystery to me.
Because–let’s face it–what is the worst that can happen? Even if the conspiring duo kill his real family, they still cannot make their place with him.
Also her grudge seems amateur to begin with.
Do you like doofus antagonist or someone with a strong philosophy (like the joker) ?
See lessA female vampire tracks a serial killer before he strikes again, pursued by both a police woman, vampire hunters and a victim from a hundred years ago bent on vengeance. As the net closes she must both face her past and save a young woman targeted as his next victim.
You mentioned a century old victim, which means the targeted young woman can not be family to the female vampire. Since she would have outlived all possible family in 100 years. So WHY she aims to protect the young woman (the serial killer's next target?) is unclear She's chased down by three segmenRead more
You mentioned a century old victim, which means the targeted young woman can not be family to the female vampire.
Since she would have outlived all possible family in 100 years.
So WHY she aims to protect the young woman (the serial killer’s next target?) is unclear
She’s chased down by three segments:
police, vampire hunters and a victim
Which seems useless
Why she doesn’t take care of the vampire hunters (in her own way) remains a mystery to me.
I don’t know why they are even mentioned here..
Unless they have their respective places in the plot, I’d suggest you mix and match to create more interesting characters, like-
1. A Vampire cop (her victim disguised as a cop leading the search against her) or
2. Vampire hunter cop (human cop known for his traditional ways to deal with the mysterious cases)
One thing’s for sure
See lessThe serial killer is your antagonist
But are you sure he can handle a vampire headed his way?
For all I know he’s still a wimpy human to me and the day he meets the vampire, your story will come to an end.
If he’s smart enough to evade her at each step….well, why would anyone watch something so un-cinematic?
Revised: After a magical species abducts their parents, to transform them into their evil emperors, their twins must find and rescue them in time.
So, When their unwary parents are abducted and made rulers of the Dark-Elves, a defiant teenager must navigate the surreal realm with his nerd twin, along with their pets and an android I dropped the "assimilate" bit, since I (still) don't get it Also, 1. "along with their pets and an android" is aRead more
So,
When their unwary parents are abducted and made rulers of the Dark-Elves, a defiant teenager must navigate the surreal realm with his nerd twin, along with their pets and an android
I dropped the “assimilate” bit, since I (still) don’t get it
Also,
See less1. “along with their pets and an android” is a detail you don’t need in your logline (sounds fun to explore in your story though)
2. I’m not too keen on the “navigate” bit. It’s a vague action (you know, “an objective goal”…)