1. Posted: April 7, 2018In:

    Based on Actual Events: Guilty of accidentally killing a black postal worker, a tobacco salesman politically awakens after his acquittal by a white court in Apartheid South Africa and joins a resistance group only to be caught, tortured and exiled for planning a terrorist attack against the regime.

    variable Uberwriter

    If he did plan the terrorist attack why do you think the audience will relate? & he formerly slaughtered a man... am I missing something here?

    If he did plan the terrorist attack why do you think the audience will relate?
    & he formerly slaughtered a man…
    am I missing something here?

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  2. Posted: April 7, 2018In:

    After a former white supremacist is nursed back to health by a rural African American family, from a deadly bear attack, he must choose between his heart or allegiance when his former gang threatens to kill his new found family.

    variable Uberwriter

    It made me think of this thread: https://loglines.org/logline/when-an-american-civil-war-lieutenant-develops-friendship-with-lakota-indians-he-has-to-stand-against-his-army-to-preserve-his-new-way-of-life-dance-with-wolves/ HIS "CHOOSING between his heart or allegiance when his former gang threatensRead more

    It made me think of this thread:

    https://loglines.org/logline/when-an-american-civil-war-lieutenant-develops-friendship-with-lakota-indians-he-has-to-stand-against-his-army-to-preserve-his-new-way-of-life-dance-with-wolves/

    HIS “CHOOSING between his heart or allegiance when his former gang threatens to kill his new found family” DOES NOT WORK AS A GOAL

    your plot still works superbly for me.

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  3. Posted: April 7, 2018In:

    A self-centered, up-and-coming actor is about to have his once-in-a-lifetime ?big break? meeting with a control-freak star-director but his neurotic casual-girlfriend reveals that she?s pregnant, unplanned, certain he?s the father, potentially bringing everything he?s worked for crashing down, causing him to morally juggle his priorities.

    Best Answer
    variable Uberwriter

    What's his North? This version is far clear than your previous attempt but in 54 words, you still missed his goal. You need to spell out what it means to "morally juggle priorities" to provide him that North.

    What’s his North?

    This version is far clear than your previous attempt but in 54 words, you still missed his goal.

    You need to spell out what it means to “morally juggle priorities” to provide him that North.

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