1. Posted: September 9, 2012In:

    When a gifted teacher and healer discovers a key which unlocks her deeply buried past she lets go of everything she knows and goes on an incredible journey which totally transforms her life.

    ChasFisher

    Sounds interesting to your average audience member, but for people in the industry there is very little here. What is the conflict? The drama? It just sounds like a gifted person has a really great time. Road movies (which this sounds like) is a really hard sell as well. So: - What is the protag's fRead more

    Sounds interesting to your average audience member, but for people in the industry there is very little here. What is the conflict? The drama? It just sounds like a gifted person has a really great time. Road movies (which this sounds like) is a really hard sell as well.

    So:
    – What is the protag’s flaw?
    – What is the antagonist/primary conflict?
    – What are the stakes?

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  2. Posted: September 7, 2012In:

    As a cursed detective struggles to contain the wolf within, he suspects he is being framed for murder. In order to uncover the true killer, he must accept the wolf? or be lost to the beast forever.

    ChasFisher

    Thanks mate. How about this: A cursed detective - framed for murder - needs to accept the beast within in order to uncover the true killer?

    Thanks mate.

    How about this:

    A cursed detective – framed for murder – needs to accept the beast within in order to uncover the true killer?

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  3. Posted: September 7, 2012In:

    As a cursed detective struggles to contain the wolf within, he suspects he is being framed for murder. In order to uncover the true killer, he must accept the wolf? or be lost to the beast forever.

    ChasFisher

    I like it. Clean. Simple. Powerful. But it does not give any indication of fuel, 2nd act conflict, goal, stakes or antagonist. To work on what you have said: A cursed detective - framed for murder - must accept the beast within or be lost to it forever?

    I like it. Clean. Simple. Powerful. But it does not give any indication of fuel, 2nd act conflict, goal, stakes or antagonist.

    To work on what you have said:

    A cursed detective – framed for murder – must accept the beast within or be lost to it forever?

    See less
    • 0