1. Posted: July 9, 2016In:

    Wanting to go legit a young drug dealer must do one last run to rescue her sister being held hostage by her boss; knowing she be going to be killed.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    In a nutshell: Amy is willing to do anything for her sister, but posed with limited choices she sold drugs. ?Her girlfriend at the time another drug dealer got into a bad situation and left. ?Amy wasn't willing to change as it may risk her sister Ella. ?Now only three things make people change "JealRead more

    In a nutshell:

    Amy is willing to do anything for her sister, but posed with limited choices she sold drugs. ?Her girlfriend at the time another drug dealer got into a bad situation and left. ?Amy wasn’t willing to change as it may risk her sister Ella. ?Now only three things make people change “Jealousy”, “Suffering” or “Dissatisfaction”.

    Amy knows her world is closing in around her. ?She thinks if she runs, Doug will come for her. ?So she tries to get out of it. ?He takes her sister. Even though she knows she may die, she goes to get time to think of something to save her sister.

    While on the road. Her sister escapes. Amy is forced to kill someone to get back to Ella. ? Amy is unaware that Ella is safe. ?She continues to act as if Ella was still in danger.

    When Amy?gets back she discovers that Ella is safe and heading to her ex-girl friend. ?Amy knows that if she survives, she’ll probably go to prison. ?Ella would stay close to visit or out of loyalty. ?Amy knows Ella’s only chance is be free of her influence and of the life they have had, is if Amy is no longer around. ?Her only chance is with her ex-girl friend who has gone legit. For this to happen Amy must die.

    So what would the Logline look like?

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  2. Posted: July 9, 2016In:

    Wanting to go legit a young drug dealer must do one last run to rescue her sister being held hostage by her boss; knowing she be going to be killed.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Good point dpg. But the idea of the story is that Amy has wanted out for a while (for the sake of her sister). Being harassed to by cops triggers Doug's suspicion and why he wants her dead. This motivates to make the break. Doug holding her is a hurdle. She wants a clean break for Ella and herself.Read more

    Good point dpg. But the idea of the story is that Amy has wanted out for a while (for the sake of her sister). Being harassed to by cops triggers Doug’s suspicion and why he wants her dead. This motivates to make the break.

    Doug holding her is a hurdle. She wants a clean break for Ella and herself. Ella escaping makes Amy choosing to shot Doug means that Ella will never have to return, not even for prison visits. By dying, Amy sets Ella free.

    Amy believed originally that she would visit Doug, spin some crap to buy a day or two and leave. Instead, he grabbed Ella and triggers the events.

    Can’t see the logline ….

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  3. Posted: July 12, 2016In:

    When his buddies desert him in law-enforced territory, a fast-talking space pirate hitches a ride with an underpaid traffic officer to retrieve his precious loot.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Lets look at the assumptions we can make: Loot stolen. Loot hidden. Loot Lost. Friends dumped him to steal loot. Friends dumped him because they are dicks Friends dumped him to get him arrested That the underpaid traffic officer is in on it. That the underpaid traffic officer is completely unaware IRead more

    Lets look at the assumptions we can make:

    Loot stolen.
    Loot hidden.
    Loot Lost.
    Friends dumped him to steal loot.
    Friends dumped him because they are dicks
    Friends dumped him to get him arrested
    That the underpaid traffic officer is in on it.
    That the underpaid traffic officer is completely unaware

    I’ll give it a go.

    “Dumped by his buddies a space pirate must partner with?an underpaid traffic officer to retrieve his loot before his buddies get it.”

    Retrieve could be expanded into some action points – you have a few spare words.

    “Dumped by his buddies a space pirate must partner with?an underpaid traffic officer to retrieve his loot triggering a bloody pursuit across the universe with the people who dumped him”.

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