1. Posted: April 27, 2016In:

    Three days before Armageddon, a drug addicted lawyer struggles to be free from his addiction, his friends and his day job .The devil has marked him, he has made a claim .To survive the Dreadful war he has to beat him at this final hour.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    It is just a bit clumsy. Made a claim? What does that mean. ?The Devils has marked him? Again, vague. Plus the start is too wordy. ?Give it a few rewrites. As Armageddon approaches a drug addicted lawyer must beat his addiction and change his life to defeat the devil....

    It is just a bit clumsy. Made a claim? What does that mean. ?The Devils has marked him? Again, vague.

    Plus the start is too wordy. ?Give it a few rewrites.

    As Armageddon approaches a drug addicted lawyer must beat his addiction and change his life to defeat the devil….

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  2. Posted: April 26, 2016In:

    When a group of Sth African migrant teenagers go on a road trip they have an accident that leaves one the boys paralysed from the waist down but when the parents of the injured boy engage in a legal battle against the young driver it divides a community in a gripping saga of tradegy and triumph.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Saga of tragedy and triumph is the story. Focus on that After injuring his friend in a car crash a boy.... A legal battle for compensation after a car crash divides a poor African town but drives the two boys involved closer. The background is nice, but could be done in the opening credits. Give meRead more

    Saga of tragedy and triumph is the story. Focus on that

    After injuring his friend in a car crash a boy….

    A legal battle for compensation after a car crash divides a poor African town but drives the two boys involved closer.

    The background is nice, but could be done in the opening credits. Give me the real meat of the story.

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  3. Posted: April 21, 2016In:

    This is not a logline but a question. Will it be admissible for a logline for a SERIES be longer than a standard of 30 words (or so)?

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    All sins are forgiven if the words are wonderful. ?People would read 100 words if they were the best 100 words in history. ?I heard on a "Nerdist Writers Panel" podcast someone talk about the difeference between series and feature pitching, which is the function of a logline. Pitch the world not theRead more

    All sins are forgiven if the words are wonderful. ?People would read 100 words if they were the best 100 words in history. ?I heard on a “Nerdist Writers Panel” podcast someone talk about the difeference between series and feature pitching, which is the function of a logline.

    Pitch the world not the people. ?If you pitch the world they will see that it can last forever as characters change or leave.

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