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  1. Posted: April 5, 2016In: SciFi

    When a scientist invents a vaccine for a virus that devastated the United States and uses it to build a deadly army, her former student must lead a special forces team to her hidden base in the Rocky Mountains in order to get the vaccine in the right hands.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 6, 2016 at 7:59 am

    I think an army is a symptom of power. What benefit does she have in having the army. How is it financed? Okay too much for a logline. But can be explained. Controls the control by controlling the vaccine. You see what I am aim at. A person must break into a private military base to obtain a vaccineRead more

    I think an army is a symptom of power. What benefit does she have in having the army. How is it financed? Okay too much for a logline. But can be explained. Controls the control by controlling the vaccine. You see what I am aim at.

    A person must break into a private military base to obtain a vaccine and save the general population.

    Crap I know, needs personality, but the core is simply stated.

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  2. Posted: April 5, 2016In: Student Loglines

    Les harbours a secret obsession to become the next biggest gay porn star and when his Dad kicks him out, he escapes to LA. Trapped by his own narcissism it?s not long before he resorts to prostitution to feed a growing meth habit but when he witnesses his ex lover dying of an overdose he starts an unpredictable roller coaster ride to recovery that brings him to a practice of yoga and meditation and he attracts the man that gives him a new sense of purpose.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 6, 2016 at 7:53 am

    This reads like a synopsis. Just hit the through line. After failing to establish his gay porn career a meth addict starts rehab where he meets the man that will lead to success.

    This reads like a synopsis. Just hit the through line.

    After failing to establish his gay porn career a meth addict starts rehab where he meets the man that will lead to success.

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  3. Posted: April 1, 2016In: Drama

    A young, self-absorbed man struggles to come to grips with his flaws and regrets as evidenced by three important moments in his life – the news that his girlfriend is pregnant, the birth of his daughter, and his daughter?s high school graduation.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 1, 2016 at 6:36 am

    Struggle to come to grips is too vague. ?Plus a script is a visual media. ?Someone struggling with their thoughts is hard to imagine. Plus my wife was 18 when our son was born. ?She was 36 when he graduated - far from young (sorry my dear). ?A young man can't have a graduating daughter - sounds likeRead more

    Struggle to come to grips is too vague. ?Plus a script is a visual media. ?Someone struggling with their thoughts is hard to imagine. Plus my wife was 18 when our son was born. ?She was 36 when he graduated – far from young (sorry my dear). ?A young man can’t have a graduating daughter – sounds like I am picking, but that is what I think as a reader.

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1 … 186 187 188 189 190 … 329

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