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A drug addicted rich kid breaks into an unsuspecting college students parents home who is home from college due to a just diagnoses of severe diabetic. The situation takes a turn for the worse as a hot shot negotiator tries to prove himself rather than save the girl, who falls into diabetic shock slowly as the hostage taker battles withdraw symptoms. The ending of this terrible situation is tragic and carries swift punishment, no one will ever be the same.
A rich kid drug addict triggers a siege when he takes a hostage during a break and enter. The diabetic hostage's health quickly deteriorates as the a self serving negotiator and the addict suffering withdrawal argue it out. Not great but a start. Focus on the goals of the story. What does everyone wRead more
A rich kid drug addict triggers a siege when he takes a hostage during a break and enter. The diabetic hostage’s health quickly deteriorates as the a self serving negotiator and the addict suffering withdrawal argue it out.
Not great but a start. Focus on the goals of the story. What does everyone want. There is usually one path through a story, that’s your logline.
See lessWhen a terminally ill scientist uploads his consciousness to a virtual world he believes he has cheated death, but when AI designed to care for him begins digitising others, he’ll risk everything he’s created, including his own virtual existence, to shut it down.
Based on the conversation we can agree the logline isn't doing the story justice. There is so much story you will have to find the thread that holds it together and work around that. Plus why would the army send in criminals? That seems disconnected. Explain it in the story. If you just have them asRead more
Based on the conversation we can agree the logline isn’t doing the story justice. There is so much story you will have to find the thread that holds it together and work around that.
Plus why would the army send in criminals? That seems disconnected. Explain it in the story. If you just have them as a group, it gives you more room for story.
See lessWhen a terminally ill scientist uploads his consciousness to a virtual world he believes he has cheated death, but when AI designed to care for him begins digitising others, he’ll risk everything he’s created, including his own virtual existence, to shut it down.
Based on the conversation we can agree the logline isn't doing the story justice. There is so much story you will have to find the thread that holds it together and work around that. Plus why would the army send in criminals? That seems disconnected. Explain it in the story. If you just have them asRead more
Based on the conversation we can agree the logline isn’t doing the story justice. There is so much story you will have to find the thread that holds it together and work around that.
Plus why would the army send in criminals? That seems disconnected. Explain it in the story. If you just have them as a group, it gives you more room for story.
See less