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A week after having leg surgery for which he would need 3 months rest, a 45 year old poor night guard returns to work in order to not loose his job and keep providing for his family. He encounters a group of burglars in a building garage and is unable to stop them.
You've got flaws, he is poor, he is injured and can not do his job. You have a incident, the robbery. But what happens? Is he sacked? What is the story. Good setting, but it needs a start middle and end. This could rolled into a sentence leaving room for more story, "returning too early from surgeryRead more
You’ve got flaws, he is poor, he is injured and can not do his job. You have a incident, the robbery. But what happens? Is he sacked? What is the story. Good setting, but it needs a start middle and end. This could rolled into a sentence leaving room for more story, “returning too early from surgery a night guard fails to prevent a robbery which….”.
See lessA mysterious boy is on the run after having his identity discovered. But will he escape from the prospect of the hunters chasing him every second.
This describes a genre rather than your story. Okay he has a hidden identity and is now on the run. That could be just a small part of a larger story. I prefer reading a logline that makes me think "I wonder how the writer does that", rather than "I wonder what happens in the story". Remember a loglRead more
This describes a genre rather than your story. Okay he has a hidden identity and is now on the run. That could be just a small part of a larger story. I prefer reading a logline that makes me think “I wonder how the writer does that”, rather than “I wonder what happens in the story”.
Remember a logline is meant to get the story idea to the reader. They have 100’s to choose from. They are normally looking for a story to fit a (actor/director/location/budget). So they will not dig further to find out about your story, they’ll just read the next logline trying find a story that meets their needs.
It is really hard to get 100 pages into about 30 words, but that is the trick.
See lessA mysterious boy is on the run after having his identity discovered. But will he escape from the prospect of the hunters chasing him every second.
This describes a genre rather than your story. Okay he has a hidden identity and is now on the run. That could be just a small part of a larger story. I prefer reading a logline that makes me think "I wonder how the writer does that", rather than "I wonder what happens in the story". Remember a loglRead more
This describes a genre rather than your story. Okay he has a hidden identity and is now on the run. That could be just a small part of a larger story. I prefer reading a logline that makes me think “I wonder how the writer does that”, rather than “I wonder what happens in the story”.
Remember a logline is meant to get the story idea to the reader. They have 100’s to choose from. They are normally looking for a story to fit a (actor/director/location/budget). So they will not dig further to find out about your story, they’ll just read the next logline trying find a story that meets their needs.
It is really hard to get 100 pages into about 30 words, but that is the trick.
See less