1. Posted: March 10, 2018In:

    An out-for-himself and talented brain hacker, who sells off stolen ideas and concepts to large conglomerates, is hired to escort a scientist, who holds the key to clean energy in her head, to open source rebels so she can provide the idea free to all humanity.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    The story is implied here. The hacker is the kind of person that would steal the idea and sell it. But what makes the journey so tough. If we don?t assume a story it reads like an Uber trip. I would also shorten the character description. Think of a single word then describes chunks of what you haveRead more

    The story is implied here. The hacker is the kind of person that would steal the idea and sell it. But what makes the journey so tough. If we don?t assume a story it reads like an Uber trip.

    I would also shorten the character description. Think of a single word then describes chunks of what you have.

    A brain hacker that sells stolen memories and ideas…. this sort of person is always out for themselves, if they weren?t that would be different.

    Hope this helps.

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  2. Posted: March 10, 2018In:

    After several defeats, a determined young boxer prepares for a last chance to reignite his career while dealing with his unsupportive family and the hoodlums he grew up with.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    Shorten the setup. A struggling unsuccessfully young boxer... I don?t know your story. But I?d give him a super hard choice. He can take a dive, make some money and prove his family right that he is a loser. Or he can fight, win and prove them wrong and face the consequences. Pride and self fulfilmeRead more

    Shorten the setup.

    A struggling unsuccessfully young boxer…

    I don?t know your story. But I?d give him a super hard choice. He can take a dive, make some money and prove his family right that he is a loser. Or he can fight, win and prove them wrong and face the consequences.

    Pride and self fulfilment vs money and humiliation.

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  3. Posted: March 10, 2018In:

    After a well planned ambush on an armored truck carrying arms, a cop must find the people behind it before the weapons hit the streets.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter

    This is a good solid base for a story. But why this crime and this cop. In Heat Robert De Niro breaks his own rule and forms a connection to someone. It?s a cop story that is really about two men that are having relationships issues because of their involvement in crime.

    This is a good solid base for a story. But why this crime and this cop. In Heat Robert De Niro breaks his own rule and forms a connection to someone.

    It?s a cop story that is really about two men that are having relationships issues because of their involvement in crime.

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