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After his son is shot in a drive-by, a gangster must use his crippled werewolf abilities to kill the vengeful vampire who has been attacking his gang.
I think that making a gang of werewolves vs a gang of vampires is just the premise of a number of other movies. It is just a CGI fest while I am writing a much more personal story set in an urban world. Besides, I wouldn't really see the point of a pack of werewolves or vampires entrenching themselvRead more
I think that making a gang of werewolves vs a gang of vampires is just the premise of a number of other movies. It is just a CGI fest while I am writing a much more personal story set in an urban world. Besides, I wouldn’t really see the point of a pack of werewolves or vampires entrenching themselves in an urban landscape like that. Rather than being a gangster setting with a touch of magic, it becomes a magical setting with some urban combat thrown in.
In other words, putting too much magic into a story like this takes away the ‘magic’ of the story.
Putting a whole pack of werewolves into it takes away from the story, which is pretty simple. One woman trying to get vengeance, and one man trying to protect everything he has left. While the gangs are used by both sides, they are put to the fairly quickly as the two powerhouses battle it out.
And in response to “For this genre, I submit that ideally, the inciting incident should establish ? or at least tip a reader off ? what kind of world or character the story is about.”
It does. It’s about a gangster, it just happens to have some magic thrown in.
See lessThanks for your input. I will review this thread again and see if I can find any suggestions to include.
Fallen in love with Christ, a young Muslim girl finds out that her existence depends upon her recognition of the truth – she’s in love with a non-existent person – her seek for truth only leads her to reveal her true nature – goodness and curiosity – questions asked and answered, her seek – immortality.
"A young girl looks to another faith, but immediately finds that her mortality may lie with a false deity." While I think Foxtrot is on the right track, this attempt doesn't describe a plot. What's the inciting incident? What goal does that event cause the main character to pursue throughout the stoRead more
“A young girl looks to another faith, but immediately finds that her mortality may lie with a false deity.”
While I think Foxtrot is on the right track, this attempt doesn’t describe a plot. What’s the inciting incident? What goal does that event cause the main character to pursue throughout the story? How does she go about achieving that goal?
See lessAny logline for a film or television show should describe a visual action, something the producer can imagine on screen. Whether that’s driving, shooting, fistfights, even praying. What causes her to believe in a false deity? How is that represented visually? What’s the conflict that will be resolved at the climax of the story?
After his son is shot in a drive-by, a gangster must use his crippled werewolf abilities to kill the vengeful vampire who has been attacking his gang.
Oh, since you said " I see nothing in the inciting incident that incorporates what is unique to either werewolves or vampires. ?It?s standard-issue drive-by shooting. ?Not revenge by an involuntary ?blood donation? ? but by a bullet." I thought you thought the inciting incident should be the turningRead more
Oh, since you said ” I see nothing in the inciting incident that incorporates what is unique to either werewolves or vampires. ?It?s standard-issue drive-by shooting. ?Not revenge by an involuntary ?blood donation? ? but by a bullet.”
See lessI thought you thought the inciting incident should be the turning of his son.
I often find myself doing that for my own stories. I try to map and explain everything so it makes sense and then eventually I just realize, “It a fantasy, he can do magic. That’s that.”
Even if she can stay well hidden, that’s still 8+ hours where she can’t act and the protagonist can. He could slaughter the whole rival gang, taking away her resources. There’s just too much he could do. She is quite a bit weaker than other vampires, she gives up some of the strength, speed, etc, in order to be able to operate in the day. There are also other things which affect her because of how new of a vampire she is. But I play pretty fast and loose with the established conventions. I see most of them as suggestions, not rules. I use them or ignore them depending on how convenient they are for my story. For example, most werewolves aren’t beholden to moon in order to shape-shift. With a little practice they can do it at will. That has little to do with this story but it will be applied in the sequel I’m planning.
Sure, his senses aren’t as good as they were when he was at full strength, but he still is quite adept at tracking, using his enhanced senses and the mundane methods he’s picked up over the years of hunting prey.