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When during a famine a loving Eskimo grandmother is abandoned by her migrating family, she reflects on her past life and faces death, which is inevitable. Or isn’t it?
"When during a famine a loving Eskimo grandmother is abandoned by her migrating family, she reflects on her past life and faces death, which is inevitable. Or isn?t it?" Movies and television are a visual medium. Meaning the viewers want to see something on screen. So how does "she reflects on her pRead more
“When during a famine a loving Eskimo grandmother is abandoned by her migrating family, she reflects on her past life and faces death, which is inevitable. Or isn?t it?”
Movies and television are a visual medium. Meaning the viewers want to see something on screen. So how does “she reflects on her past life and faces death” translate to a visual action on screen?
The logline also lacks an objective goal, something she wants and works toward during the story.
Review the Formula tab if you haven’t already for information on a standard logline.
See lessI hope this helps.
When an irresponsible party girl’s father is framed by the mob, leaving her with an estranged 11-year-old to raise, she must fool social services to keep the child and outwit the mob to get her father out of prison.
"When an irresponsible party girl?s father is framed by the mob, leaving her with an estranged 11-year-old to raise, she must fool social services to keep the child and outwit the mob to get her father out of prison." An interesting premise but it has a few problems. First is the problem of credibilRead more
“When an irresponsible party girl?s father is framed by the mob, leaving her with an estranged 11-year-old to raise, she must fool social services to keep the child and outwit the mob to get her father out of prison.”
An interesting premise but it has a few problems. First is the problem of credibility. In order to be able to grow in power and keep that power, the mob has have some pretty smart people. It strains disbelief that a young girl could just outwit them, especially without any resources or experience.
The second problem is that the logline presents two goals. The goal to outwit the mob and the goal to fool social services. The one that sounds more interesting the mob one, so use that logline space to flesh out that storyline more.
What kind of tone is this story? Each goal, to me, brings up two completely tonally different scenarios. The social services one I imagine a comedy type situation where the child have to use antics to keep the social worker from figuring them out. But the mob story I see a legal and crime drama.
I recommend that comedy would make it easier to suspend disbelief in both cases.
Here’s my example:?When her father is framed for murder by the mob, a reckless teenager must find evidence of his innocence. (19)
See lessWhen her male colleagues wager on her best friend’s chastity, a woman remains silent; when the bet ends in rape, she seeks redemption through vengeance.
"A woman seeks justice for her friend who commits suicide after being raped; when the billionaire goes scot-free, she seeks to drive him suicidally insane." When I read the logline I get no visual image, I can't imagine what the action of the movie is going to be. It doesn't have to be extremely desRead more
“A woman seeks justice for her friend who commits suicide after being raped; when the billionaire goes scot-free, she seeks to drive him suicidally insane.”
When I read the logline I get no visual image, I can’t imagine what the action of the movie is going to be. It doesn’t have to be extremely descriptive, but there needs to be a visual description that allows anyone who reads the logline to be able to develop some sort of mental image of your idea.
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