Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
Wanting to go legit a young drug dealer must do one last run to rescue her sister being held hostage by her boss; knowing she be going to be killed.
"Amy believed originally that she would visit Doug, spin some crap to buy a day or two and leave. Instead, he grabbed Ella and triggers the events." Doug still has the advantage in the fact that Amy doesn't know he suspects her. I still don't think it's very smart of him to play his hand and kidnapRead more
“Amy believed originally that she would visit Doug, spin some crap to buy a day or two and leave. Instead, he grabbed Ella and triggers the events.”
Doug still has the advantage in the fact that Amy doesn’t know he suspects her. I still don’t think it’s very smart of him to play his hand and kidnap a girl based on suspicion alone. It’s not even a part of some elaborate plan to prove Amy is working against him. He just kidnaps her so the story can happen.
See lessAnd, still, Ella rescuing herself serves nothing. It’s like you’re painting yourself into a corner by making Amy’s task too impossible so you finish the goal by making Ella get away.
It would make more sense if Doug catches Amy about to take her sister and run, and then it makes his suspicion valid and out of anger he snatches her sister and then uses that to leverage Amy into doing more work. And all along Amy is plotting to rescue her sister.
Fleeing an unseen force controlling their minds, an old man and his two nieces hijack a woman’s car only to discover she’s already picked up a familiar hitchhiker.
"The ?familiar hitchhiker? is the unseen force (monster) they?re on the run from. The goal is to get away from the control of this monster that they can?t see." Getting away from the monster will serve nothing; it will simply find them again as it finds them by being a hitchhiker. What is a goal theRead more
“The ?familiar hitchhiker? is the unseen force (monster) they?re on the run from. The goal is to get away from the control of this monster that they can?t see.”
Getting away from the monster will serve nothing; it will simply find them again as it finds them by being a hitchhiker. What is a goal they can actively pursue? To destroy it, to convince it to stop hunting them, to find it someone else to follow. ‘Running away’ is not an effective goal. That story could go on forever. A good story has a beginning, middle, and end. The end of the story comes about when the goal is completed.
“hijack a woman?s car only to discover she?s already picked up a familiar hitchhiker”
Then frame this as the inciting incident of the story. ?We don’t need to know that they’ve been fleeing already, all we need to know is that the monster has found them now. And this propels them into some action.
If they can’t see it, how do they know it is there?
Example:?When an invisible, mind-controlling monster causes their car to crash, an uncle must find and kill the monster to protect his two nieces.
Inciting incident: Crash, which causes the characters to form a…
See lessGoal: Stop monster from hurting his family. Which leads him to…
Action: Find and kill monster.
Wanting to go legit a young drug dealer must do one last run to rescue her sister being held hostage by her boss; knowing she be going to be killed.
"The core dramatic question raised by the logline is: ?can Amy rescue her sister?" Agreed with dpg. What is the point of the story at all if her sister can simply rescue herself? The audience goes, expecting to see Amy go through whatever it is she goes through in order to save her sister, but thenRead more
“The core dramatic question raised by the logline is: ?can Amy rescue her sister?”
Agreed with dpg. What is the point of the story at all if her sister can simply rescue herself? The audience goes, expecting to see Amy go through whatever it is she goes through in order to save her sister, but then comes to find out that her whole journey was pointless.
See lessThere would be cases where Amy not saving her sister were acceptable. Say if her arc was learning to trust others, and then she finally allows someone to help her and save her sister; then that would be a part of Amy’s development. She trusted someone else to complete the mission she set out to do.
What do we get if Ella saves herself? Nothing. No development. No feeling of triumph when the protagonist defeats the ?antagonist. ?Amy doesn’t even know. ?And then Amy sacrifices herself, for what?