1. Posted: May 1, 2016In:

    Thanks all for the help. Re working it now.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter

    The revision makes it seem like the events are happening to the MC, rather than her driving the plot. She is being hunted by aliens, but that gives her no goal. Make sure the MC is the one driving the plot. What is the inciting incident? Why does this make her do something? What is her goal that driRead more

    The revision makes it seem like the events are happening to the MC, rather than her driving the plot. She is being hunted by aliens, but that gives her no goal. Make sure the MC is the one driving the plot. What is the inciting incident? Why does this make her do something? What is her goal that drives her?
    I think the twist could be interesting the first version just seemed to throw it in the logline.

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  2. Posted: May 1, 2016In:

    Thanks all for the help. Re working it now.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter

    It starts well with the inciting incident, but then the rest gets kind of muddy. One thing is that it isn't specific enough, how is she going to go about defending the town? And more importantly, why would she defend the town? And what about the "may be family" part mean? That the MC may be an alienRead more

    It starts well with the inciting incident, but then the rest gets kind of muddy.
    One thing is that it isn’t specific enough, how is she going to go about defending the town? And more importantly, why would she defend the town? And what about the “may be family” part mean? That the MC may be an alien?

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  3. Posted: April 30, 2016In:

    When a journalist discovers a cult crucifying men in the desert, he believes he has the story of a lifetime if he can live to tell it..

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter

    I like it.

    I like it.

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