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A drug addicted private investigator must partner up with an android detective to solve?the mystery of how and why his sister induced an AI to murder her.
The only problem I have with the drug addiction part is that it seems to serve no purpose in this logline. Yes, it is a character flaw, but it is not connected to what this logline describes. Of course it can be implied that it will cause problems during the case, but it just seems kind of thrown inRead more
The only problem I have with the drug addiction part is that it seems to serve no purpose in this logline. Yes, it is a character flaw, but it is not connected to what this logline describes. Of course it can be implied that it will cause problems during the case, but it just seems kind of thrown in the logline. I do agree with dpg that the addiction could serve the story well, but is it essential to the logline?
See lessA teenage girl struggles to deal with everyday life on a planet populated by aliens.
"Struggles" is too vague. Include an inciting incident, and then create a conflict from that incident. Perhaps use her arriving on this planet as the incident: When she lands on an alien planet, a teenage girl....
“Struggles” is too vague. Include an inciting incident, and then create a conflict from that incident. Perhaps use her arriving on this planet as the incident: When she lands on an alien planet, a teenage girl….
See lessWhen a superhero is infected with his engineered plague, her ex-boyfriend escapes from prison to steal from a military lab and create a cure before the woman he loves dies in three days.
Oh, yes I see. I suppose I was just trying to establish her gender in the first half. The boyfriend doesn't infect her, she's infected with a version of his plague by someone else.(Or maybe accidentally). But the boyfriend created it, thus making him feel guilty and compelled to create a cure for thRead more
Oh, yes I see. I suppose I was just trying to establish her gender in the first half.
The boyfriend doesn’t infect her, she’s infected with a version of his plague by someone else.(Or maybe accidentally). But the boyfriend created it, thus making him feel guilty and compelled to create a cure for the woman whom he loves.
Maybe adding that it was modified will help to alleviate some confusion.
Revison:?When a superhero is infected with a tampered version of his engineered plague,?her ex-boyfriend escapes from prison to steal from a government lab and create a cure before the woman he loves dies in three days.
I will keep thinking on how to fix the other concerns.?
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