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Two farmers in Iceland are framed by the Sheriff and sent to Denmark to slave in chains for the rest of their life. The younger one returns after 20 years to realize he has a son and wants revenge.
Agree with Nir Shelter that if the concept is for a feature film, than the focus may need to be narrowed, the narrative tightened. As I currently understand the concept, it seems to lend itself more to a series. In any event, I think it's a viable concept. May the odds be in your favor.
Agree with Nir Shelter that if the concept is for a feature film, than the focus may need to be narrowed, the narrative tightened. As I currently understand the concept, it seems to lend itself more to a series.
In any event, I think it’s a viable concept. May the odds be in your favor.
See lessTwo farmers in Iceland are framed by the Sheriff and sent to Denmark to slave in chains for the rest of their life. The younger one returns after 20 years to realize he has a son and wants revenge.
Well, then, how about: Twenty years after being forced to watch his lover's execution and then sentenced for life to prison for a crime he didn't commit, a farmer in 16th century Iceland returns to avenge her death and exonerate his name. I don't mention that he's shipped off to Denmark because I thRead more
Well, then, how about:
Twenty years after being forced to watch his lover’s execution and then sentenced for life to prison for a crime he didn’t commit, a farmer in 16th century Iceland returns to avenge her death and exonerate his name.
I don’t mention that he’s shipped off to Denmark because I think the execution conveys a more powerful emotional punch. In fact, I suggest this version has a one-two-three emotional punch: he 1] witnesses the execution of his lover; 2] gets a life sentence; 3] for a crime he didn’t commit.
Logline legalists will, no doubt, throw a red flag on my play for giving the protagonist a dual objective goal. Although a dues paying legalist myself, I believe there are (rare) exceptions to every rule. I think an exception is warranted, certainly permissible, in this case.
Ditto with the 30 word maximum. That’s certainly the ideal and close to the statistical average. But, again, there are rare exceptions, justifiable outliers to the statistical average. For me, the redline for length is 40 words. I haven’t met a verbose logline yet that couldn’t be boiled down to 40 words or less.
This one comes in at 38 words.
See lessTwo farmers in Iceland are framed by the Sheriff and sent to Denmark to slave in chains for the rest of their life. The younger one returns after 20 years to realize he has a son and wants revenge.
Gunn: Clarification, please: was he sent into exile for life but not to prison for life? Or both? (Big difference)
Gunn:
Clarification, please: was he sent into exile for life but not to prison for life? Or both? (Big difference)
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