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  1. Posted: November 23, 2016In: Examples, SciFi

    When a soldier is killed battling space aliens only to be resurrected to fight the same battle again, he must fight and die every day until he learns how to defeat the aliens.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 25, 2016 at 1:05 am

    I agree that the inciting incident is his initial resurrection . ?Which doesn't occur until almost 30 minutes into the film, another instance of a story that violates the 15 minute rule for the inciting incident.But that death and resurrection is only the first of innumerable deaths and resurrectionRead more

    I agree that the inciting incident is his initial resurrection . ?Which doesn’t occur until almost 30 minutes into the film, another instance of a story that violates the 15 minute rule for the inciting incident.

    But that death and resurrection is only the first of innumerable deaths and resurrections and that’s the story hook , that he must suffer, die, be resurrected day after day after day until he gets it right, figures out how to defeat the aliens.

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  2. Posted: November 22, 2016In: Thriller

    When a witch who is also a medical doctor is left with three days to raise his daughter from the dead, he enlists the help of an ameteur witch who has three days to save her mother from a deadly disease.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 23, 2016 at 10:23 am

    <Start of eschatological rant>For what it's worth, both characters seem to be acting out their own egocentric needs. ?There are plenty of other people who have lost or are about to lose loved ones, loved ones who deserve as much or more to live -- but all the 2 characters care about is their oRead more

    <Start of eschatological rant>

    For what it’s worth, both characters seem to be acting out their own egocentric needs. ?There are plenty of other people who have lost or are about to lose loved ones, loved ones who deserve as much or more to live — but all the 2 characters care about is their own. ? What’s so special about the daughter and the mother that they should get an extended lease on life — and all the others get to die?

    Well, that’s human nature. ?But in modern conventions of drama there is usually an implied subjective story line; that is, a character arc where the character overcomes a flaw to become a better person through the process of the struggling for the objective goal.

    How will resurrecting his daughter make the doctor a better person? ?Or the witch saving her mother a better witch?

    Also, what does “her soul is lost forever” ?mean, anyway? ?What are the real stakes? ?If she is going to her punishment, aka: hell, yeah, that’s a problem needing a solution. ?The deceased needs another chance to get her life right, redeem herself.

    But if she’s going to her reward after she dies, aka: heaven, what’s the problem? ? Resurrecting ?the daughter would be like someone dragging me back to my house and holding me captive there just as I’m on my way to cash a winning lottery ticket that will end all my financial woes. Why should I want to be “saved” like that?

    All I’m saying is: if one is going to use the idea of an after life, at least work out and be true to the logical consequences. ?Which means give the deceased a good reason why she needs to be resurrected. ?Give her unfinished business she must?deal with in this mortal coil.

    < End of eschatological rant. ?fwiw>

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  3. Posted: November 23, 2016In: Public

    Healing from the car accident that killed her husband, the young author purchases a mysterious antique mirror and falls in love with the handsome reflection who tells her fascinating stories of daring and adventure and betrayal.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 23, 2016 at 9:41 am

    The logline seems to convey the sense of a woman who is a helpless victim of circumstances. It describes her problem in specifics, but it falls short when it comes to describing a specific course of action she takes to solve her problem.How does "do what needs to be done" translate into a specific cRead more

    The logline seems to convey the sense of a woman who is a helpless victim of circumstances. It describes her problem in specifics, but it falls short when it comes to describing a specific course of action she takes to solve her problem.

    How does “do what needs to be done” translate into a specific course of action? ?In spite of her subjective problem — her grief –what exactly becomes her objective goal?

    What is the real inciting incident anyway? ?The car accident or buying the mirror? ?Or is the car accident in the back story? ?Whatever, neither incident seems to trigger the woman into a course of action toward a positive, life-affirming, life-enhancing?objective goal. ?

    Which is what an inciting incident is supposed to do, even though it initially creates a problem. ?The problem is a goad that motivates the protagonist to struggle toward a specific, positive goal. ?It may be the wrong goal or the protagonist may fail to achieve the goal, but at least she’s struggling toward a specific solution to her problem.

    It’s not enough for a logline to describe a dramatic problem. ?It also needs to inform a producer or director exactly what course of action the protagonist ?will pursue to solve the ?dramatic problem. ?Not vaguely, but exactly, not in generalities but in specifics.

    fwiw

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